La Vida de Honduras!

2009-06-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

Dad, under a Shady's medicines sign

Getting fruit from a vendor

Grupos y mas grupos

2009-06-23T12:38:00.001-07:00

Photos from the Family visit:

My two families: In back- Mark, Dad, Mom
In front: Carlos, Diana, Teresa (host mom), and Daniel

As we visited the Ruines of Copan, the President Mel Zelaya was
also there and was welcomed in by women in their traditional dresses.

Dad at the Mango festival in Yuscaran

Mark, Mom, and Kathy and Virgil at Zamorano
checking out the plants and grafted trees

Dad, Mom, and Mark at Copan Ruinas

Mom and Dad at Montana de Luz

with Francisco (seated) and Ricardo

Dad on the corner of the square in Copan Ruinas

My brother Mark, Mom, Dad,

Michael and I at Copan Ruinas

Mark and his colorful friend

Dad, Me, Mark, and Nicole,

holding her blanket that Mom made for her.

Holla Peeps! There hasn't been anything nearly as exciting as earthquakes, as in the last entry written by my parents. There has been plenty of heat, baleadas (flour tortillas with beans), bus traveling, laughing, reading, listening to latin funk, and water fights with the kids.

I had a great time with my family going to Copan Ruinas and visiting Gracias, where Michael is at to see the variety of landscapes and realities in Honduras. My host family loved to have my family there and Dad was able to cook for them twice. They loved the little "panes" (bierocks) that he made, although our whole house was smoking hot afterwards.

My time here is winding to a close here with 3 and 1/2 weeks left to go. However, not without getting to know the entire state of Ohio. Just kidding but seriously. Nearly all of the groups that come to Montana de Luz to volunteer are from Columbus, Ohio. They have brought us many games and crafts and have provided the kids with extra entertainment to play soccer. It has been a challenge at times to help translating and explaining everything, but it has also helped me realize how much I have grown. We have had 2 groups already and other than a break this next week, we will have groups for the rest of the summer until late August. So maybe when I visit Ohio in the distant future, I'll find a place to couch surf....

Other than that, I just been enjoying the last moments with my host family and my favorite telenovela, or Columbian soap opera. Its based in Bogota, I think, and I'm really addicted. I need to know what happens to Rosali and Andres as they now started running a rich company, and if they can find the millionarie Bryan (who was married for his money but ditched by his wife) and now everyone thinks he died in a car crash, but is really in prision. Haha. You know the everyday stuff of life.

Its funny how when I came I said to myself I would never make it through watching any telenovela with the family and now I'm the one to remind them what time it is each night at 7:00pm. However, it is interesting that many of the soap operas have a social commentary piece to them. It especially seems to address the infidelity between husband and wives as well as some political themes of corrupt governance. I think it really helps people open their minds to confront what is happening in their own lives and government. However, also it has been a fun bonding experience with my family here because they are so into it.

Or also, another thing I got into here is Zumba. Its a super intense exercise video with dances like bachata, salsa and other latin dances to help people exercise. They were the most neon colored outfits that are hilarious just to watch. Its great how just shakin your hips can be such good exercise. I can't wait to bring it back to Kansas City in the middle of the winter.

The kids have been good in general. We have gone to the pool as a prize, which is awesome because it is really hot. Most of the kids are fairly healthy, with a few still dealing with chronic lice. Little Hector is still pretty sick and not responding to his ARVs. Keep him in your thoughts because his mom is out of the country right now and we are praying that his health will start improving. Often times the hospital we go to has no ideas of what more to do for him.

On another note, it has been exciting to see kids improving in school. They are halfway done with their school year and will finish in Novemeber. We are pushing them and working to keep them focused in this time with many mission groups visiting. I have been pushing the kids I tutor with multiplication tables and working to read syllables and sentences.

I was sent an interesting summary of a current political history of Honduras under Zelaya. It might be of interest to someone: http://www.coha.org/2009/05/21st-century-socialism-comes-to-the-banana-republic/

I have also been reading Shane Claibornes Becoming an Answer to Our prayers. It has been a bit of a teaser because I long for this faith community that he talks about. I have still been going to the Catholic church on Sundays but its a service to the other orphanage. Its a blessing to be surrounded by joyful kids but I still have a longing for community of people my age. It will be nice to be back in KC for that but I know there are so many great ways I have been stretched and challenged by God here as well.

Things that I will miss from Honduras:

-undefined reading times on bus (waiting for hours is common and acceptable)

-sharing toothpaste with my host family

-being really conscious of how many drops of water I use

-talking to anyone and everyone in buses and taxis

-waking up to cows at 5:30 because our neighbor decided to enclose one in her yard for milk

-getting romantic texts nearly everday from my phone company TIGO

-fresh fruits and their products (enough said)

-going to the gas station just to buy chocolate

-enjoying the extra protien (ants) that comes with my meals

-playing hide and go seek with the kids, each time being super joyful

-waiting for the power to go out nearly every time it rains and listening to the raindrops on the tin roof

-sensing the wonder in the sunrise over the mountains on my morning runs

Familia in Honduras

2009-05-28T15:14:00.001-07:00

This is Liz' Mom and Dad writing from Montana de Luz. We arrived yesterday in Honduras and were delighted to see our daughter for the first time in 10 months. We had a good trip and they decided to allow us into the country.

We just finished a water balloon fight (bomba de Agua) with the kids and some volunteers working here. Although still a little damp, I'm feeling quite refreshed.

Honduras experienced an earthquake during the night. Here in Nueva Esperanza we experienced a little tremor. Liz and several household members came awake and felt the shaking (Liz told us about her dream that things were moving in the morning before we learned there was an actual earthquake,) but we Kansans were exhausted and slept right through it. Everyone in this area is safe, although we heard about a death caused by the earthquake near the epicenter in the north near the island, Utila.

We've been greeted with wonderful hospitality by Liz' host family, Theresa, Carlos, Daniel, and Diana, and also by her many coworkers. We attended mass yesterday at the chapel where I hummed along with a couple of familiar tunes, but was mostly entertained during the sermon by a rather large insect (Carol estimates 3 inches long!) crawling up my leg.

One special experience has been to meet Nicole, the girl we've been sponsoring. She's shy, but very pretty. Carol gave her a hand made blanket (though right now there's certainly no need for a blanket - it's been very hot and humid) decorated with hearts (corazones.)

We have shopped at a couple of grocery stores, and were somewhat surprised to see Vigilantes (guards) armed with rifles. Everyone has been friendly, but it speaks to the inherent safety issues here.

We've had a wonderful time traveling with Mark, and reuniting our family, and we look forward to the next 8 days.

Blessings to all back home. Rannie and Carol Goering

La esperanza real

2009-05-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

Night Psalm- Thomas Merton

Be still
Listen to the stones of the wall.
Be silent, they try
to speak your

Name.
Listen
to the living walls.
Who are you?
Who
are you? Whose
silence are you?

Who (be quiet)
Are you (as these stones
are quiet). Do not
Think of what you are
still less of
what you may one day be.
Rather
be what you are (but who?) be
the unthinkable one
you do not know.

O be still, while
you are still alive,
and all things live around you
speaking (I do not hear)
to your own being,
speaking by the Unknown
that is in you and in themselves.

I will try, like them
to be my own silence:
And this is difficult. The whole
world is secretly on fire. The stones
burn, even the stones
they burn me. How can a man be still or
listen to all things burning? How can he dare
to sit with them when
all their silence
is on fire?(Paletas, ice pops, made from fresh fruits, you never get enough.)

(My fettish for pickled products continues.....)

Self-control: Usually used in reference to eating, sexual desires, greed, and things that it seems that we as humans should control about our nature. We always resolve to fix our bad habits, eat less, set down limits, etc. What is the inspiration for self-control?

Lately, I have been thinking of the concept of self-control as it relates to hope. Reading The Shack, the recent popular book by William Young, brought up some interesting thoughts through the main character´s conversations with Jesus. Jesus brings up how humans are always thinking about the future and what will be or worring about the past, but never really living in the moment. Humans spend so much time worrying that they forget to live. Sound familiar?

Recently at the orphanage we have been struggling with a variety of development issues. We have a huge disconnect between the U.S. office and the real struggles of Nueva Esperanza, Honduras. Despite huge staff turn-over and lack of funds, the real issues appear to be peeling back the layers of people´s hearts and the value they assign to each other as fellow human sufferers. It seems that we can be so blind as people that we forget to just sit and listen. Just sit, take in the silence of the walls and understand the burning that is around you. Just sit with the wounds and remember that you too know what pain and loss feels like. We forget what a gift it is to hope for someone, right now for whatever the day will bring. We forget the real power that people have to change their present situations, attitudes, and habits. We give people hope just by believing that each person is valuable. This is how we can be self-controled in hoping for someone, teaching our minds to be focused on the present, neither judging the past actions nor the future capabilities of people.

Recently, on a bus ride a Honduran who had lived in the States for 4 years told me about his immigration experience. He had crossed illegally and had scraped together a job and housing in Maryland. However, he painfully spoke of the huge sacrifice it was to miss his family and his culture, especially through the winters. He seemed enchanted with learning english, but understood the brutal realities and risks of immigration.

At one point, he asked me why it was so easy to get a visa to come to Honduras, but not the States. The realities of economic and political relationships between the two countries seemed all too real in this moment. Instead of making a hopeful statement about Obama changing immigration, I decided to sit with this burning. I told him that this really is an unjust situation and even to his embarrassment, I apoligized for it. So much of the time it can be easy to see this huge immigration problem and just despair for immigrants. However, living in hope, which isn´t easy because it calls us to be self-controlled in our thinking, allows us to keep moving foward right now (taking what actions we can) and let the future be what it will. It seems that being self-controlled in hope allows us to not guess about the future, but to really make a change in the moment. And these are the real changes that are possible.

Though my Honduran friend had been through a tough experience, he now had a job, was living with his family, and was continuing to greet people with a smile. It was clear he had gained inner strength through those years. And who is to judge what his future will bring...

I love this quote, and everyone who knows me well has heard it at some point;

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, must be extraordinary. What we must do is love without getting tired. -Mother Teresa

This love that is unexhaustable teaches us to hope. We don´t decide to love kids in a couple of days when they behave better, or decide to help the poor tomorrow because we will have more compassion then. No, we choose hope today because we know that it is based in present action and is based in unexhuastable love.

Hope also holds on in the present to the possibilites and does not let the unpredictability of the future reign. It is difficult at times when you see the patterns of oppression, of destruction, of backwards development, and of habits to keep focusing on the hope that is before you. But the fact is, each day is new. Each day is hopeful. Each day brings unknown changes that weren´t known to soothsayers, fortune tellers and the future-minded.

I´ve been really learning experientially about hope here. There are many days when the girls I am teaching refuse to come to clases, working to finish the 3rd grade at the ages of 16 and 18 years old. In the developed world, many people wonder what future hope these girls have with a 3rd grade education. However, they have a passion to clean, to cook, and to do crafts. Though these activities may not be highly paid, it does not mean they are not valueable and provide hope for these girls. The fact is we as humans do not know what tomorrow brings. We can only plan, and worry, and dream for the future, while the present is being lived out.

It has been the same thing to hope for nearly all the kids here, as the HIV/AIDS so strongly affects their lives. But we don´t look toward the future and say, oh they probably won´t live long. Instead we hold on to the present, disciplining them, educating them, and feeding them each day, employing the present hope we have for them. Here in Honduras, this concept of self-controlled hope has hit me hard. People just don´t seem to plan as much for the future, buying the food and things they need each day or as the money is available. In many ways, it has taught me to live more in each day and rejoice in the seasons of the earth as we eat the fruits that are ripe and available at specific times. For example, we hoped for mango season but we thoroghly enjoyed the watermelon season. Living in hope implies living right now.

I have two months to go here in Nueva Esperanza. Its so tempting to plan for August, where I will live, what I will do, and how it will all happen. However, there is so much hope being enacted around me. There is so much listening I still have yet to do; there are so many hugs to give, books to read or be read to me, and games to play. I am still here. I am here to Hope.

May you also learn to hope, for the here and now, remembering that you are an agent of hope in this very moment.

Two good books about immigration experiences:

Enrique´s Journey- Sonia Nazario
Across a Hundred Mountains- Reyna Grande

La Semana Santa

2009-04-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

right to left (the nephew of my host family and his little brother, a beautiful house in another town called La Villa de Sanfrancisco, a huge bunch of yellow coconuts, 4 of the kids I have worked with tudoring here, the new grey van we got to haul the kids around here.)

For Semana Santa or Holy week, right before Easter, I headed out to Gracias to visit Michael. First, we met up with some friends of Michaels that are biking from Virginia to the Mennonite World Conference in Paraguay. It was amazing to hear thier stories what all they have been given or experienced. I was especially amused by the story where they got handed an entire boxed pizza on the road. They were really organized with their whole trip. They just passed Managua in Nicaragua and should keep going all the way through Peru and Bolivia{s tough highlands. You should check out their blog- http://americas.bikemovement.org/
Semana Santa was a relaxing but really hot week. With Michael, we saw the sawdust carpets that are displayed as stations of the cross from the Catholic church. This procession began at 9 am and we walked from station to station, carefully stepping over the sawdust beauties and working to keep cool. We only lasted 2 hours but it kept going until noon. They had interesting invocations that were politically charged, and spoke to specific offenses that the government had done against the people, all the while asking for God{s forgiveness. It was moving but a sweaty experience.
Its the hottest time in Honduras right now, especially here in Nueva Esperanza. We are just sweating wherever we sit or stand. It can be miserable, especially in our computer lab. That is also why we rejoice that watermelons are in season and we are eating them at least 3 times a day, if not 4 for snacks. Can{t get enough.
I keep enjoying playing soccer with my host family. My younger sister is obsessed and rejoiced when they didn{t have school yesterday so she could stay up till 11pm to play. We have been eating a lot of ciruelas, which are a little green or red (depending how ripe) fruit with a pit. They are great as well. The mentality has continued to be, if its in season you eat lots of it.
I feel really adapted to this life. As I{ve reflected, I{ve realized how quickly I have accepted life as it is here. I{ve learned to say often, asi es la vida (that{s how life is). Last night my host family was watching the president speak and picking out his errors in speech and false promises. They told me that{s just how Honduras is with its politics. I find myself at times frusterated with how easily I have adapted or accepted certain parts of the life here. Even with my struggles within Montana de Luz, I am praying to be woken up and keep having the courage to challenge the difficult realities of unstable electricity and inconsistent water.
Relationships with my coworkers are going better. I have become quite close with my most frusterating coworker, which has been a real surprize. I can see the heart this coworker has for Montana de Luz, I just wish there could be more compassion in her words and actions. The way in which someone is treated, regardless if they are young and rebelous, makes all the difference in how they feel loved and have the hope to keep loving. Reflecting deeply on this has made my interactions with this coworker harder, yet at times more rewarding. She is adamently against being associated or considered Christian, but has admited that she believes in spirits. She connected this belief to the death of her grandma and further contact with her. Through many unconfortable conversations, we have shared our thoughts on life and relationships. Recently this coworker said, [Liz, I would be religious too, if all people were religious like you.] As she has never seemed to respect me before, I was caught off guard and am excited to see how our relationship can grow from here.
Right now I am reading The Road to Peace by Henry Nouwen. He is really inspiring me to dig deeper into my prayer life, and not just as wishful thoughts but as the true agent of change in conflicts and other tough situations.

Just wanted to share some good quotes I picked up-

[Christians today, if they want to be Christians, have to find the courage to make the word peace as important as the word freedom. THere should be no doubt in the minds of the people who inhabit this world that Christians are peacemakers.]

[The invitation to a life of prayer is the invitation to live in the midst of this world without being caught in the net of its wounds and needs. The word prayer stands for a radical interruption of the vicious chain of interlocking dependencies that leads to violence and war, and for an entering into an entirely new dwelling place. It points to a new way of speaking, of breathing, of being together, of knowing- truly , to a whole new way of living.]

[Panic, fear, and anxiety are not part of peacemaking. This might seem obvious, but many who struggle against the threat of a world war not only are themselves motivated by fearm but also use far to bring others to action. Fear is the most tempting force in peacemaking. The stories about nuclear weapons and descritions of what would happen if a nuclear war were to take place are so terrifying that we are easily inclined to use that fear to bring ourselves as well as others to be advocates of peace...peacemaking is the work of love and (in love there can be no fear, but fear is driven out by perfect love. 1 Jn 4:18). ] p.16

That{s whats up here and what{s going through my head. Please pray for the kids of Montana de Luz. Little Hector has gotten better, now taking a stronger antiretroviral. Also, we have Fernando who is struggling with a deep cough and is very behind in school. Please pray that he may be well to really focus on school and not drop behind another year. May you enjoy and be refreshed with all the beautiful people and challenges that surround you today.

habia una vez en Montana de Luz...

2009-04-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

(left to right: a picture off the side of our chapel, some of our caretakers in the back of the truck (most people travel like this and it freaks me out to sit on the edge like that!), some squash plants we are finally getting to grow, the side of my house with our former banana plant (it died), and our wash area here at Montana de Luz. The weather has been so hot that things dry in very little time.

Hi! Just wanted to put up some more pictures. April is the hottest month and we're dying of heat up here in Montana de Luz. We have fans but they don't do us justice.

Nothing new just been reading and listening to some spanish praise music. For all you latin music fans, find Guillermo Anderson, Marcela Ganara, Terecer Cielo, and Jesus Romero. Those are some new favorites. My friendship with my host mom is deepening and I'm really adapting to life out here, though there are still plenty of struggles with the machismo and feeling blocked in at times. I saw an interesting article in the paper yesterday that said "God healed my HIV/AIDS." It covered a story on a man who had AIDS and then went to a church in Teguc and became healed. It was just so upfront. I asked my host mom what she thought and she said that she totally believed it happened, its just that she doesn't believe it should be publized like that. It made me remember how Jesus often told those that he healed not to tell the priests or others. But they did anyway...not too much of human nature has changed. Anyways, it has been interesting to be in a culture where news is quite sensational. Just the pictures on the front page can be of a graphic accident and are enough to turn your stomache.

I've got a break this next week for what's called semana santa, or holy week. I'm excited to get out and visit Michael is Gracias. Hope its a bit cooler there.

I miss you guys and am excited for my family to come at the end of May. Sounds like we have some hiking planned in a nature park here called La Tigre.

Keep on being awesome in the lives of those who gravitate around you.

Mi vida esta floreciendo

2009-03-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

(left to right: a precious girl here with me, my co-worker Lydia, the little school where I do tudoring and crafts, our second youngest boy in the truck, two girls getting ready for school in the morning, any amazingly yellow floresent tree that is in blum right now (only blooms 2 times a year), a student I am tudoring and me, and the little ones in the truck getting ready for kindergarten.)

Hey all! In the middle of March, its getting hotter. April is the hottest month here and already the heat is upon us. We played with waterballoons in p.e. yesterday and it was pure joy. Kids screaming and running in all directions. Here at Montana de Luz, classes have been going well. I'm really focusing on tudoring the kids who are struggling to read and write. God has gifted me with abundant patience. Now it seems that the kids want to read and are eager to write letters to their sponsors, even though writing can be a big endeavor at times. Slowly, I see the kids improving as they remember to put periods at the end of their sentences and capital letters at the beginning.

My host family is doing very well. My mom's plantain chip business is busy right now, with many regular customers. I've helped her pack platain bags which is quite a bit of work. I have enjoyed baking for my family. We have made french toast, quiche, and various types of pizza together. I also got my family hooked on rice crispies, just like my real dad is!

I've been reading quite a bit. I just finished a book about bananas, Violence and Non-Violence in South Africa, quite a few poems from Walt Whitman, and now I am started on a book called The Mystery of Capitalism: Why Capitalism Triumps in the West and Fails everywhere else by Hernanado de Soto. It is an interesting look at what a capitalistic society is based upon: the potiential capital that rests in homeownership, the accountability of transfer of assets, and the unification of one measurement system. It has helped me reflect on various parts of the Honduran legal system that have broken down or that are simply set up for a differnt type of economic model. We have even been trying to get a title for a van that we own and it has taken months upon months. The system is different to navigate here. Once again, you must employ much patience to stick through the process.

I went hiking with my coworker Dario into the woods near Playa Blanca (white beach). This is a man-made beach close to Nueva Esperanza. We got to see many waterfalls and got to hike around to see on top of them as well. It was amazing being so surrounded by life and hearing the waterfall was good for my soul.

I have continued to be invovled with the Catholic church here. I am learning the songs on my guitar to play for our masses that we have up here at the orphanage. We have a mass every other week. The kids love screaming the songs that they know. I have found a lot of meaning and community in these services.

Samana Santa (Holy Week) is highly celebrated here. Its coming up in just 2 weeks. Nearly everyone that can take time off, heads to the beaches on the coast. I don't know what I will be up to yet, but I hope to get out of Nueva Esperanza, at least to Teguc. I got to play tennis with Rachel and it was like breathing again. What a great treat! I also got to satisfy my new adiction of coffee slushes called granita de cafe in a coffee shop chain called Expresso Americano. My trips to Teguc just aren't the same without them.

Thats about all for me. I'm getting ready for my parents and my brother to come soon. Hopefully we too can go hiking together, drink coffee slushes, and possibly go see Guatemala. Hope you all, my beloved friends and family, are doing great. Send me an email if you have time, lizgoering@gmail.com. Thanks for all your support, emails, and just sharing your lives with me. Life has offered me so many amazing memories and opportunities. I pray that each one of you will recognize your riches, be they your memories, emtional well-being, beloveds, and the air you breathe each day.

Una poema para inspiracion

2009-03-04T15:39:00.000-08:00

Hey,
I wrote a poem I wrote a while ago. It speaks to my progression in humility, grace, and a more florescent perspective of my creator.

In a Glimpse of a Moment

In a glimpse of a moment
we stand
masquerading as equals, as allies,
bending to the wants of our flesh,
worshipping what befalls our eyes.
In a glimpse of a moment
we kneel
passing each day beneath the sun,
knowing the expiration dates are set,
and that all will pass away.
In a glimpse of a moment
we breathe
in the colors, scents and laughter
that make each steady rotation
worth our broken humanity.
In a glimpse of a moment
we bend
as though trees in the wind
adapting to the scars of sorrow,
thinking of time's inflexibility.
In a glimpse of a moment
we fall
scattering self-sufficency like glass,
realizing that a weak human body
is sufficent for a moment of grace,
and that is all covers this severed skin.

Hippies rock!

2009-02-27T23:07:00.000-08:00

left to right: (the hippie couple we met, me, Rachel, and Michael)

So, we met these hippies over New Years in Utila, a bay island off the coast of Honduras. They have been wanting to come help women's groups learn more skills with jewelry and the bracelet craft. They have recently email Michael and Rachel to work with groups in their area of Honduras. This hippie couple is from Guatemala and they were quite inspiring to talk to. They have been traveling all over Central America to see their crafts and just live off of what they sell. The woman in this picture made me a great toe anklet out of waxy thread. I had seen these around and described it to her. This piece of work loops around my second big toe and works its way upward around my ankle, creating quite the piece of art. She was able to create this new innovation and even made one the next day for herself. Its so cool to see people really engaged and passionate about what they are doing as they are able to spread that to other people. Central Americans have been some of the most friendly people. Spreading love...one bracelet at a time.

I'm reading The Shack, which has been a really good book so far. Its challenging me how I talk about God verses how I really believe in him. Sometimes in a religious culture, we are quick to speak about God's qualities but when it comes to tragedies and other injustices it can be so tough to keep believing that God is consistent. Right now I am working on loving the kids at MdL consistently, even when I have days of not seeing God work how I expect him to. Or even when certain kids might seem to be getting sicker...

Please keep praying for 6 year-old Hector. He had a bloodshot eye due to new medical problem other than the illnesses he is already dealing with. He is also on a special diet, which can be hard because he just really wants to eat spaghetti but this does too much harm to his stomach.

Please pray for a unity in vision for Montana de Luz. At times, the directors and the BOD in Ohio see different visions and that can make it tough to keep things rolling smoothly. I've learned a lot from this experience about development work and the challenges that arise from operating in two different cultures.

May God continue to wow all of us with his plans, though we might be uncomfortable and unsure, may we be in a place that allows us to be unabashedly trusting our heavenly father.

Muchas Gracias

2009-02-18T06:48:00.000-08:00

The kids needed to make a sign (Muchas Gracias) for some of our sponsers. I thought it was pretty cute. Check out these chulo (cuties) kids!

fotitos

2009-02-15T13:58:00.001-08:00

Left to Right: (my compassion child Rony (far right) and his father and brother whom I visited last November, my short hair cut which has finally grown, kids Mera, Junior, Alan, Starlin, and Abi playing before school starts, the view outside my house to our neighborhood, the garden we are finally growing at Montana de Luz)

"However selfish soever man may be supposed," Smith wrote, "there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it."

This quote is from Freakonomics by Steven D. Levit and Stephen J. Dubner, a book I recently finished reading. I highly recommend reading Freakonomics because it really makes you think about social problems in an intersesting sense of insentives and personal drives. This quote by Adam Smith was interesting to me because I thought, what happens when we don't get the pleasure of seeing what we are working towards? What if justice is such a long-term plan that we aren't in on seeing "results"? We can hope and pray and struggle for things unseen before our eyes and maybe even the generation after us. This is definitely something I've struggled with lately as there can be so many setbacks at times working with a vulnerable population and with HIV/AIDS, a rampant disease. Everyday, I'm working to see each opportunity and challenge with new eyes that don't always rely on results in the Western sense. What does it mean to do justice and walk humbly anyways?
Luckily, all but one of our kids passed and are going onto the next grade this Monday when school starts. I'm going to be working with Marvin, a 14 year-old boy, who hasn't passed first grade. We are starting a program called Educatodos which helps people get caught up to at least 6th grade.
I'm also working to teach some conflict management skills. This seems to be something that is definitely lacking here, as the kids don't know how to deal with social aggression. As my vocabulary expands, I'm learning how to be a better teacher which just takes soooooo much patience. I kinda want to go back to every grade I passed and just thank my teachers for having put up with a lot. Especially kindergarten teachers. However, I've found the secret of using chocolate and stickers as motivation.

May you all keep motivated in whatever you are doing during these cold months, even if it sometimes takes a little hersey kiss to get you there. After all, I'm just carrying on one of the greatest life lessons my dad taught me.

Yo escogo alegria!

2009-01-28T06:18:00.000-08:00

I choose joy...I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refsue to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

-from Akron training

Halfway point: 6 months left to go. Here I sit in the office with a cool breeze sipping strong Indio coffee, having run 20 minutes on a country road that leads to Ojo de Agua (the nearest town), and being welcomed home by my morning breakfast of fried eggs, liquified beans, hard cheese and tortillas, not to mention that my host mom tried to serve me tea but I just couldn't do it after sweating so much. The summer is here. The weather is hot, especially during the afternoons. The boys got into a big soccer game yesterday and we played musical chairs with the girls. I am quite excited to be back to work with the kids after being gone for nearly a month.
In the beginning of January, I had the chance to go to Nicaragua for an MCC retreat as well as language school in La Ceiba, Honduras. After catching up with more people here I have found that traveling is such a luxury. So many Hondurans don't know places in their country because of hard economic situations and the fact that travel can take quite a while here. Many people cannot take off work or find care for their kids while they are aware. Now that my spanish has gotten better I seem to be more aware of the struggles of my fellow co-workers.
Yesterday, I was talking to the cleaning lady here who was saying that she struggles with depression. Her husband left her to care for her 11 and 18 year old daughters. She lives in a neighboring town and says that most of her connections are with people from Montana de Luz here in Nueva Esperanza. However, so many women have children at a young age and motherhood can make it difficult to make time for anything else.
Another co-worker I was talking with says that she can hardley pay school fees this semester. It is difficult because the prices can be high and the government hardley helps anyone pay for school. She works at as a cook at MDL but she hopes to find another job here. All the temperal work is usually with the watermelon harvest in this area, which requires lots of manual labor and the workers must focus on the job 24/7 for a month at a time.
My other friend had to switch Universities because her last one was too expensive. That also meant switching career paths, which kinda rocked her life for a couple weeks. It just seems so unjust to have so little options and opportunities in a democratic society...She asks for your prayers to be at peace, find confidence to continue in her new career of ecotourism, and find the money to support her schooling.
In the midst of hearing about the U.S. economic crisis, I also have paused to acknowledge that Honduras has been in an economic crisis for many years. People have been struggling, sacrificing, and scraping by. Yet, they earn degrees, they construct houses after the rainy season, and they feed the children, though it may be the same beans and eggs and tortillas they had for dinner the night before. My eyes are definitely opened to the creativity of those with less resources and their true appreciation of what it is to afford a birthday cake and pinata to celebrate a birthday, money to finally buy a sofa, and the relief of finally fumigating for mosquitos that seem to take over on summer nights.

In all of this, I will choose joy. I refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God...

Escuela en Ceiba

2009-01-19T13:51:00.000-08:00

Como esta el nieve?? How is the snow? I don't miss it but I do miss my sunny Kansas skies. The rain has been crazy this week and last week here in Ceiba. Michael and I are in language school trying to better our spanish in the northern part of Honduras. It has much more of a Garifuna population, an African indigenous group that decended from slaves. Now there are various Garifuna villages here that speak Garifuna and are known for dancing punta and eating lots of seafood. Punta, their traditional dance, is composed of fast beats and moving your butt in tiny circles. Various kids at Montana de Luz can do it and its impressive, not to mention wonderful exercise!
Things are going well here at language school. I feel encouraged with my spanish and I can tell that I am learning more right now. We attended a Mennonite church here and the service was surprizingly short but I guess I've just finally gotten used to the 3 or 4 hour church services here. Its great to finally know the music that is playing on the radio stations around me and feel at ease speaking to basically anyone around me. I'm still bothered by the machismo but I am learning to ask God for more courage.
My 23rd birthday is this Friday and I'm excited to spend it here in Ceiba, discovering the world around me. I've tried pastelitos de carne *(like empanadas) and various soups here. I've also heard that this was the birthplace of baleadas and have yet to eat one that has been "authentically" made. It will be a pleasure. Michael and I also went to a Dole company park here. Honduras was one of the most passive countries in the fight with the United Fruit company and it is evident in how active the Dole companies and other banana farmers are still present in this area. It will be hard, but I feel convicted to give up bananas especially after seeing how much control foreigners have on this sector of the Honduran economy contributing to more poverty here.
I hope you are all well and finding new reasons for getting out in the cold world in which you life right now. Enjoy this season, whatever it may be for you, and remember to enjoy some kind of chocolate for me on Friday, probably kitkats are the best!

La Navidad con tamales y torejas

2008-12-30T06:05:00.000-08:00

left to right (Copan Ruinas (the second time I went when Katie and Laura visited!), pods of a sweet plant, beautiful view from the rooftops of Copan, the brillance of flowers here, and a quaint cafe where coffee is so fresh and so stong.

Happy holidays. Hope you all had a relaxing Christmas. Sounds like weather is freezing but here it is a breezy day. There has been a bit of rain here in San Pedro Sula but I´ve definitely enjoyed the heat. I´m still sweating but I enjoyed my chill Christmas here.
My two great friends Laura Swick and Katie Copeland came to visit me the week before Christmas. It was so refreshing to be with them again. I felt like I could express myself and they really understood me! Finally. And we went to Copan Ruinas again and it was fun to see how much I had grown and how much more spanish I now know. All of that with the knowledge that I know so little in the sceme of grasping this language and it keeps me humbled every day. We had a really fun time trying new foods and just sharing a relaxing time together. Why don´t we, as Americans, just relax more together? It was blissful. They were a blessing on my host family, who was excited for them to be there even though it was short. Their presence also made me miss so many wonderful people in my life but it was the perfect Christmas gift just to see them.
For many in this world, Christmas is not a time to relax but to work. On the 24th, I went with my host mom Teresa to work at her tajaditas (plantain chips) business. We started early in the morning to pack the chips into small and big bags. We fried two huge barrels of plantains. The business went well that day but it got hot sitting inside this building when the electricity and water was off for most of the day. Teresa was so good to me, always offering fruit juice and water to me. She offered the best that she had.
Christmas day was quite tranquil. I watched Titanic with Diana, Carlos, and Daniel (my host siblings). I also lost in a 45 min game of monopoly. That was a record loss for me, as the capitalistic game did not even last an hour. However, it seemed so indicative of how capitalism can really encourage greed, as Daniel complained about paying 25 dollar amounts of rent after I shelled out thousands of dollars on his hotels. Haha.
They served nacatamales. This is a specific type of tamale that has a corn based masa, chicken, a red masa, olives, and red beans. It is tasty, especially with hot sauce, but it can sit heavy on your stomache. I could only eat one. Also, torejas are a special dessert here. They are basically fried eggs surrounded by bread and coated in dark sugar cane. Fairly nutritous. With torejas I could also only eat one but I enjoyed it.
The day after Christmas we were back to pack tajaditas. Teresa really appreciated my help and kept giving me juice and water to keep me hydrated. My mom also travels in the buses, selling her products in the local towns. This is hard work and can be quite uncomfortable, as the buses rock and drive really crazy. However, I am always amazed at her generosity as she gives bags of tajaditas to my friends that visit and anyone else deemed a visitor. It is an exhausting life to pack tajaditas all day and then return home to cook dinner for about an hour and fall asleep to her soap operas on tv. Women here have some serious stamina.
I´ve really been amazed also how she seems to live day to day. Talk about asking for daily bread... She goes to the local pulperia (local store run out of ppl´s houses) to buy just the exact amount of sugar, eggs, and manteca she will use to cook that day. And each day in her work, she fries and packs just two barrels of plantains. It seems to give her no security at all and no time to ever be sick. Daniel and Carlos are working to find jobs around the town. When American groups come in , Carlos works to sell various things to them. Daniel went to work to pick watermelon and beans for a while. It´s all seasonal work and only allows them to work for weeks at a time. Diana has no cares in the world except to support her team Olympia (one of the club soccer teams from Tegucigalpa) and to win as much Uno as she can.
I finished reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and it really made me want to plant vegetables. I don´t get much of those here. When Teresa heard that I liked veggies she decided to make a veggie stew but ended up putting an entire stick of butter in. That kinda defeated the purpose of why I like vegetables. As is true to the Honduran manner of cooking, I´ll bet she added some sugar. Overall, I feel very grateful for the food that she makes and it makes me all the more aware that I am another mouth she needs to feed and that she does it with grace.
I missed so many of you this Christmas. Hope you are eating lots of pepernuts and chocolate covered things. That book also made me realize how eating should be a spiritual or sacred experience. So many people don´t have the options that we have. We need to choose well and eat slowly. Kingsolver also talked about supporting locally because it really is more effective than buying foods that are shipped over miles and miles. It makes me convicted about bananas. It really sucks that bananas are so abundant here and so many Hondurans do not get a fair price selling them. It makes me not want to buy them in the US because of this injustice. Really so much of what we do is based on what we are used to and the habits that we establish. If we can break our habits to create a more just society, than what is this small sacrifice really?
This book also really made me want to just take in nature. Just marvel in what´s around me. Sometimes the trash here can be distracting but Honduras really is a gorgeous country. The natural beauty is overwhelming, the brillance of the flower and funky shapes. The birds also have amazing songs that they never stop cooing. There is so much life here and it is abundant, despite human attempts to trash it, relocate it, or destroy it.
I´m heading up to Utila for New Years. This is a bay island on the north coast of Honduras. I´m excited to see the beaches but everything will be more expensive because it is a well-known backpacker spot. Really it won´t be super expensive in US terms but after living with my monthly allowence here and understanding typical Honduran spending its a bit humbling. I´m working to spend money well and give generously while living simply. Its quite the balance actually.
Anyways, we´re traveling to La Ceiba today and then off to the island. Should be a good adventure. There are a lot of those here. I just love how easy Hondurans are to talk to. They seem to always want to know where I am from, are my blue eyes real, and what I think of various Honduran dishes. May you all be well, take in the winter world around you (wherever you may be) and breathe in a bit deeper. Remain in love.

Diverti en Tela, la playa!

2008-12-09T06:40:00.001-08:00

Hey! I just got back from a number of adventures! We had our team meeting in Tela, which is the beach. I didn´t take too many pictures because it was raining a lot. I did get a nice morning barefoot run on the beach. That was marvelous and I enjoyed pan de coco (coconut bread) and a fresh plate of crabs. It was refreshing to see the team again and hear what´s been up in their lives. I think most of all this was such a great break from the orphange. I really analyzed why I am here to work with the kids and what sacrifices God is asking of me here. I have been sick more times than I can count and I think my health is definitely one of those things. Overall, I realized what other amazing people are with me to serve here in many capacities.
I just finished baking banana bread again with my family and friend Gaby last night. It was tasty but reminds me how much butter and oil are used here. I said how much butter to add and they said to add a bit more to be ¨safe.¨ haha. My host mom is always disappointed that I don´t eat enough!!! They are a wonderful family and I am enjoying their joyous attitudes!
As of February of this past year I have been sponsoring a child from Compassion International. It was a real pleasure to visit him in Linaca Tatumbla. We saw the Compassion project, which teaches the children bible classes and gives them nutritional supplements to their diet. We also went up to his house, which was higher up in the mountains. Rony is a wonderful boy, and pretty shy. He is 7 years old and when he recieved the soccer ball I broght he had no words. It was an amazing experience to share. His father was especially grateful.
In Montana de Luz, things are wrapping up and it is almost time for the kids to go visit the family that they have. Many of them live close by in the departments of Olancho, Choluteca, and a few in Tegucigalpa. However, the ones that live on the north coast are going to take a trip with our director to see their families. They are excited and this is a much anticipated trip. The directors will end up in Roatan in the north and stay there for about a week before returning to pick up all the kids they drop off along the way. It is good to keep the kids connected to the grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family that they have.
I am learning a lot of patience teaching these youth. Many of them complain and they aren´t pushed often so when I ask them to do something challenging it seems to be more than they can bear. I am working on being joyful in these situations. Yet, slowly I can see progress and various kids have finally learned their alfabet. It was shocking to me at first how many of them were around 10 or 12 and can´t really read. We have leappads, which are little computers that help them read, and its been really fun to watch them get excited to read with them. Teaching p.e. is still fun. We just finished playing a version of capture the flag. They all get really excited and of course find someone that is always cheating! haha.
The weather is changing again up here. It was pretty hot for a bit and now the wind is flaring up again. The kids are getting sick again, which only means....its comin for me again. O well. I´m ready for it by now. And lights are being put on a couple houses. My host sister Diana and I are going to make some decorations for the house this Sunday. The brick house often makes it challenging to stick anything to the wall. Hopefully tape will do. I´m excited to see what Christmas will be like here. A couple Hondurans I have asked have told me about the following traditions-

- posadas, where people go around to others houses each Sunday (I think) and sing Christmas songs and eat together, theres just such great community in that!
-tomales (dulces y con arroz, papas, y pollo) sweet tomales and ones with rice, potatoes, chicken and other things inside
-some kind of egg-nogg? I´m not so sure about that one
-also Diana was telling me that everyone wears their new clothes on Christmas day! I have some work to do for that one

I am excited to give my sister a soccer ball for Christmas. The one we are playing with now has a hole and is deflated.
Theres a new book about the US and the history of banana farming here. Yikes. It might be an interesting read. I´m about to embark on that one soon.

Hope you all are well and I miss you. Enjoy all the Christmas music for me, even if it is played a thousand times on the radio!

Pensamientos

2008-12-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

Como les va a ustedes? Les extrano muchismo pero estoy contenta aqui. Hows it going for you all? I am keeping on here in the midst of a busy vacation time for our youth. They got off school about 2 weeks ago and have Christmas vacation until mid-January. I have been tudoring more kids now, which is an extra challenge. Many of the kids don't believe in themselves and often end up in tears because they feel incompetent. I've been working mainly on encouraging them and walking them through various exercises. This is what life is all about, coming alongside these kids and supporting them.
Lets see, things have been going really well with my host family. My host mom Teresa is such a servant and is so willing to make me meals, even if I happen to leave at 6 am at times. She always asks me what I am thinking of different flavors and laughs that I don't eat tons of butter on my food. We have really connected and have baked banana bread and french toast together. I described bierocks and how my Goering family makes pizza in the states. They are really excited for me to try these receipies. This past Saturday I attended my host sister Diana's 6th grade graduation. It was really long but afterwards each family had a separate table and celebrated it with a dance. This is such a dance culture!! My host brother Carlos just graduated high school and is ready to study at the University for an electrical engineering career. The most affordable and close university for him is in Tegucigalpa, which is still an hour bus ride each day. This can be for really long days because the transportation is not always consistent or at convient times.
I've had plenty of game playing time. I think I've lost and won at so many card games I can't even remember what they were. I also was happy that I successfully explained the games "rob the balls" or "capture the flag" and ultimate frisbee to the kids. Its been really fun teaching p.e. and actually its all really about conflict management.
In my spare time, I've had a lot of time to run, bike, and read. I've been running along the highway, which isn't always ideal. Somedays the constant "encouragement" from fellow male travelers can be frusterating but I am learning to be creative with my responses and seek for how to love them in these situations. Also, I just took a 5 hour bike ride with a Honduran that lives in Nueva Esperanza. We biked to Yuscaran and it was pretty uphill. This ride was definitely a challenge for me, but he was in great shape. He was quite patient with me and waited until I huffed my way up. The view was out-of-control gorgeous. I just can't get enough of the mountains here. We walked around the town a bit, learned some history of a creol family that was buried there, and had some guayaba ice cream. The fruits just can't get any better!
As far as reading goes, I finished the Twilight series. They were fun books about vampires! So many people laughed at me for that....I wonder why. Now, I just finished Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne. It was such an inspiring read. I think I walked away from it wanting to be more creative in my response to politics, government, and how I really love people who are poor in material, social, emotional, and relational areas of life. Here is some great quotes from his book that have really made me think:

"People sometimes ask if we are scared of the inner city. We say that we are more scared of the suburbs. Our Jesus warns that we can fear those things which can hurt out bodies or those things which can destory our souls, but we shold be far more fearful of the latter. Those are the subtle demons of suburbia. As Shane's mother says, "perhaps there is no more dangerous place for a Christian to be than in safety and comfrot, detached from the suffering of others."

"Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer." -Doris Day

"You cannot follow Jesus socially (in relation to your enemy) if you are not following Jesus economically."

"This great planet isn't just a boring lump of secular earth but a divine miracle, a creation! Any Christian politics that doesn't presume this is missing out on God's gift."

"We should be more concerned about identifying the radical spirit of love that must permeate every disciple's journey than about making a list of koser Christian jobs."

"Our hope is that the postmodern, post-Christian world is once again ready for a people who are peculiar, people who spend their energy creating a culture of contrast rather than a culture of relevancy."

You guys rock. I appreciate your support through many ups and downs that I have already had here. Thanks for the emails. Nothin like personal written notes either! May you all live to the fullest in this day.
"Let us pray that God would give us the strenght to storm the gates of hell and tear down the walls we have created between us and those whose suffering would disrupt our comfort. May we become familiar with the suffering of the poor outside our gates, know their names and taste their tears." (p.293, Claiborne).

2008-11-25T11:32:00.000-08:00

Melisa in the hammocks at Montana de Luz. May each person blessed by her life never forget the time they spent with her.

Tristeza

2008-11-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we had the memorial service for 10 year-old Melisa. It was such a sad thing, burrying a young girl only a decade old. She had AIDS but more so had severe depression and tuberculosis. She had been vommiting up her medicine for too long and her body became starved. On Saturday, we had visited her just 30 minutes after she died. It was sad seeing the minuscule resources they had. Her grandmother was the only relative who was there at her time of death. She had a messy history and the social workers did not even want her in the room with Melisa. It was quite the sad situation watching the grandma walk away from the hospital alone that day.
Death is so common for these kids. The kids drew her all kinds of pictures and wrote letters. I couldn't help thinking how we all tried to give her the world, spoiling her with candy and cute clothes, and in the end we even laid her to rest in a beautify gown. Death always seems to make people feel like they should have done more in life. I have heard so many comments from people about how they should have spent more quality time with her. It kinda puts it all in perspective.
For me, I think I was shocked and didn't really understand the sadness of this until I saw her in her coffin. The size of the coffin itself seemed to describe the life that was robbed from her. Many of the kids were just silent and so many more of them didn't understand. I have been praying since for her grandma and other surviving relatives as they put her body to rest today. Please also pray for her family as they seek to understand this death.

Also I am struggling with my coworkers here. They are just a frusterating group to be around and do not share many of my values. This fact makes me end up feeling exhausted because of negative jokes and uncomfortable comments. It is hard here because I don't really have any one else in my "social circle" except my host family, whom are amazing. I've really enjoyed the quality time I've spent with them. They seem to be a very close family with a light-hearted attitude. Please pray for my relationships with people here because that seems to be a struggle for me right now. I'm searching for some spiritual and emotional support here and coming up empty much of the time. I guess this is what it means to truly rely on God....

fotos

2008-11-19T11:43:00.001-08:00

right to left: (me, Anuar and Marlon at the kids' Catholic baptism, my host family's house, my friend Gaby with MdL girls, Rachel, me, and Gaby in Gracias hiking, Michael and I in Gracias)

Hi everyone! I just wanted to post some pictures. Here are a couple from my visit to Gracias with Rachel and Gaby. I have finally moved into my host family's house. Teresa is the single mom with two boys, Carlos and Daniel, and Diana who is a 6th grader. They are fun to play cards with and its is an amazing change to be in a house. I'm holding up, though there have been many challenges here. I'm working to spend a bit of each day just asking God what he has for me. Some days it is certainly challenging. I pray that you all are well and are finding God in all the challenges you also are facing in health, in work, and in finding your purpose.

One of the other people I met in training in Akron was named Passionate from Africa. He wrote me an email posing me a question I pose to you. How is God pulling you through?

Bendiciones

2008-11-12T05:33:00.001-08:00

Buenos Dias! Today is a bright and hot morning, as the past few weeks have been here in Montana de Luz. Life has been busy here recently as we have a group from Ohio visiting and doing some service work. My directors Amanda and Andrew just visited yesterday to check up on my life here and my host family. Finally, my host mom said that she will be ready for me to move in this week, and I'm trying to believe her yet not get my hopes up too high. Anyways, I have been enjoying her family, playing card games and soccer with her children. We also baked banana bread together on Sunday, which was an interesting experience because we didn't know the conversion from fahrenheit to celsius. We ended up overbaking the bread but my family loved it. We made jokes about it being a dark cafe on the outside and light on the inside, which my host mom informed me (in a joking manner) was like the contrast in our two skin colors. It was a great bonding experience and produced much laughter.

I also wanted to share a crazy traveling experience that I had. Two weekends ago I was traveling with my Honduran friend and Rachel, the other SALTER in my area. We were going by bus to visit Michael in Gracias, which is about an 8 hour bus ride. When we got on the bus, we realized that we didn't have enough money combined for the three of us to get the whole way. We could make it about half way but then we needed to withdraw money. Here the atm machines aren't as reliable and easy to come by. I was pretty worried that we wouldn't find one and my card had not been working in Tegucigalpa, therefore I doubted it would work in a small town we would stop at along the way. After three hours we got into La Esperanza, which is about half way to Gracias. We finally found an atm machine and the bank had just closed because it was 1 am on a Saturday. Rachel tried her card and wasn't able to get money. Then I tried my card and the machine ate it. We were only missing 20 limperas (about a dollar) to pay for our bus ride but didn't have it. Frusterated, I took a walk up to this church that overlooked the city. I wasn't sure how we were going to get to Gracias because we were short on money and not sure how we could stay the night because our cards had failed. What were we going to do?

Rachel called me, as I was on my walk, to say that my Honduran friend had sold some of her phone minutes. Ingenious! Now, we now had enough money to get a bus ticket but were hungry and hadn't eaten all day. We went into the local markets and I decided to sell my shirt. My Honduran friend walked up to a vender and asked how much she wanted for it. She was a friendly elderly woman and decided to buy this shirt for her daughter. As she was making this purchase I think she could tell that we were in need. She asked us if we had eaten and we were shy, but said that we had not. She gifted us with three heaping plates (very generous by Honduran plate sizes) of fried chicken, rice, beans, and tortillas. It was marvelous. She also gave us orange juice to drink. A sign up in her makeshift restaurant said "the owner of this restaurante is blessed and all those who eat from her are also." This was so true for what we had experienced.

We ended up needing to go quickly to catch our bus that we now had money for. I was so awed by this experience of receiving food when I was in real need. We prayed sincerely on the bus as we ate and were able to share with an elderly woman who looked hungry on the bus also. This had been a crazy day.
Finally, we were on the road to Gracias, just 4 more hours and one more bus ride after this one! We were maybe 30 minutes into our route when the bus sputtered to a stop. The engine was billowing and smoke was everywhere. The driver of 20-something years had not taken care of the engine and it was having major problems. I was feeling very frusterated at this point because there was only one more connection bus to Gracias, and that left in an hour. We were now stopped on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, with the minutes ticking away. Some of our fellow travelers talked about walking, even though many of them were women in high heels! (People dress up all the time!). This walk would take 2 hours. However, it was pretty cold out because the colder season had hit and I was wearing three long sleeve shirts. I started thinking that leaving the group may not be the best idea. So I just started praying.

It turns out there was a mechanic on the bus. He started working with the bus driver and within 30 minutes helped get the bus moving again. I was still doubting that we would make it to our connecting bus on time and night was falling. Finally, though the bus driver drove crazy, we made it into the outskirts of town when someone yelled for people who were going to Gracias to get off the bus. We thought this was strange but grabbed out stuff and got off. The driver shoved us into the back of the truck which took off through the mud. The mud was thick and spattered in all directions because the rainy season had seriously affected the roads. I thought we were going to ride like this all the way to Gracias (about 1 and 1/2 hours more) and braced myself to hold on in this truck. After a 10 minute drive, I saw what we were after. We caught up to the bus going to Gracias just as it started becoming really dark. We hopped on the bus and though the tires were slidding everywhere in the mud, and said a prayer for the amazing connections and people that had reached out to us. Finally, we made it into Gracias at about 6:30pm with 6 lempiras left to spare. It was quite the adventure.

I learned how amazing generosity is in a time of need as well as the fact that we worked together as a great team that day. When our second bus broke down, the three of us were laughing just waiting for even more to happen. My prayers that day were very genuine and I really experienced provision in my time of need. This experience has taught me to be more generous and really trust that God has an idea where my next bus ride is coming from.

Anyways, that's all for now. Just keepin on in the heat today. We are starting to plant a garden, planting pepers, onion, carrots, and other vegetables. I'm excited to teach the kids about this. Hope you all are doing well, getting into the winter season. For all you who are experiencing cold, just remember I'm still sweating for you!

Aprendiendo como cocinar Baleadas!!

2008-10-28T07:52:00.000-07:00

Que tal? Como estan todos? To begin with, this week I was really excited because I learned how to cook Baleadas, a prized dish here in Honduras. It is a dish of flour tortillas, which creamed beans and dry cheese inside. Also, many people put eggs and butter inside. It is a wonderful mix of cream, chunky, and tough textures in your mouth along with rich fresh ingredients. Baleadas are my favorite dish here! My Honduran friend's mom allowed me to help her go through the process of making the tortillas, frying them, and preparing the rest of the food. It was magnificent. Although I need to practice stretching my tortillas out a bit more, it was fantastic to learn and not too hard to replicate. I also baked chocolate cookies with the oldest girls at the orphanage. They had a blast and were ecstatic!
My room with my host family is almost built. I'm so ready to move in!! It been two months since I've been here and I'd really like to start getting to know my host family! I've been a bit frustrated but have gone to visit with her a number of times. It seems in this culture you just drop in on people. I dropped in a couple of days ago and I brought her some green salsa to show her that I am serious about wanting to bless her family even if I'm not living there. It has been difficult for her to built this room because the rain has been tremendous. It has taken a lot of patience and trust throughout this whole process. I'm learning that many things in life take great patience. The whole sense of Honduran time here has helped me live more in the moment in many positive ways. I usually know that if someone comes over its going mean that we are going to talk until there's not much else to say and we are going to make sure everyone is ready and relaxed before we go do something. Its been different traveling every place I go as a group and changed my sense of independence a bit. I am getting to know many of the Honduran locals and have received special encouragement for my morning runs! Haha.
Its still raining today and it has caused a lot of damage in Honduras. Many bridges are washed out and even the highway to Tegucigalpa caved in. Its pretty scary traveling on some of the buses at times. I was just reading that the Honduran government declared this time a national emergency because 11 people have died, and over 130,000 have been affected by the flooding. Many people are being evacuated in small farming communities, which is devastating because their lives are being uprooted. Also, one of my friends here who attends a local university talked about some of her fellow classmates having nothing because their house was completely flooded. And the rains just don't stop. I heard that we are heading into the dry season but so many people are saying it is uncharacteristically rainy this year. There was also an avalanch in the deparment of Copan which ended up blocking the Coyol River and destroying many houses. Check out http://www.hondurasnews.com/.
Also, there is a presidential election coming up in Novemeber sometime. When I've been in Teguc, there have been various political groups rallying. I don't hear much since I hardly get a paper and no one around Nueva Esperanza seems to care. Here in Nueva Esperanza, the houses have been without running water for 3 months. They finally just had a meeting to get enough money to pay for someone to drill for water. It has taken a lot of community organizing and many people are still unhappy and unable to afford it. However, now that the rainy season is ending people are nervous because they won't be able to use rain water anymore. Hopefully, they will get this issue fixed because the orphanage had been supplying many people with water and we can't afford to do that any more. Water is such a scarce but vital resource. It has been frusterating to be without showers many times and just suddenly have the water be off. Dishes just pile in the sinks and I try to avoid using the bathroom at home. But the tiendas or pulperias (small local stores) carry lots of bottled water to do the important stuff, like keep hydrated and brush your teeth. I keep telling myself its like camp or going hiking for an extended period of time!
I have been enjoying tutoring and teaching physical education in the afternoons. The kids are great and I'm learning to know them more. Many of them have anger management issues and we are implementing a star-system, where they receive rewards if they have behaved. Getting along with co-workers has its challenges, but I am learning to work with strong personalities better.
Please pray for the flooding situation here. It's crazy how much water can do and its so frusterating to see houses and whole roads taken out. At the same time, also pray for the water situation in Nueva Esperanza and that people can work together to solve this situation that will become pretty important soon.

I found a bit of inspiration from Oriah Mountain Dreamer and I wanted to share it with you all. Her work is called The Dance.

"I have sent you my invitation, the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living. Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!"

Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires, spiralling down into the ache within the ache.

And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.

Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are, And see who I am in the stories I am living.

And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.

Show me you can risk being completely at peace, truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment, and again in the next and the next and the next. . . I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.

Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.

What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness? And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.

And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business without letting business determine who you are.

When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul's desires have too high a price, let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.

Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don't say, "Yes!" Just take my hand and dance with me.

Motoceli adventuras y trabajo social

2008-10-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

Picture this: A quaint town with mountains in the distance. Kids playing in the streets mid-day with a few people walking around the deserted plaza. The Catholic church stands as an icon, with its Spanish architecture and grand decorations. There were vendors sitting, tired after a long day of selling tortillas and bananas. The streets are unpaved and difficult to manuever. Rain forms the earth and makes it near impossible to drive as bare rocks and shards of earth lay exposed. And here I was to put my social work skills to use...
Today, we traveled to Motoceli to inquire about a new girl who might come to Montana de Luz. I was excited to be ask to do this social work visit and actually put these skills to use. However, I am still nearly deaf in one ear and struggling to breathe so I was thinking I wasn't the best for this job. Yet, my director is swamped so I agreed to go.
We arrived knowing we might meet someone at the Catholic church. Its pretty much a big icon so I thought I would just find someone standing there. After 15 minutes of waiting, I called the number on my contact sheet and could only leave a message. I decided I need to wait another 10 minutes. I'm trying to work on having more patience. It seems to be in such abundance here. When I see other people being so patient, I forget that I really am able to wait, to rest, and to daydream.
Anyways, we started asking around and found the father of this girl we were inquiring about. He said that he wanted to take us to his house to meet her. He also asked if we wanted to go on foot or car. I, being an active American that I am, said that I'd love to go on foot and see the sights as we went. This father has estimated about a 10 minute walk. Just as we were starting out, the father thought that maybe it would be better by car. So we hoped into the car and started to drive on the treacherous roads. All of these roads were not paved and, since it is rainy season, the mud was fantastic and spraying in every direction. We also became manuevered so that one wheel was off the ground and I thought we were all going to push. By, as I have seen other Hondurans do, we just hopped on the back to put extra weight and the driver sprung the car foward. Every road seems to be an adventure here. Nevertheless, after 15 more minutes of driving crazy roads we arrived at the casa. Truly it was great to use my skills combined with Spanish. Even though I am sick, I was able to bring hope to this situation. It was empowering that I was able to use my abilities even though I'm definitely not at my prime right now.

Enfermedades

2008-10-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

Now i lay(with everywhere around)...
by e. e. Cummings

Now i lay(with everywhere around)
me(the great dim deep sound of rain;
and of always and of nowhere)and
what a gently welcoming darkestness--
now i lay me down(in a most steep more than music)
feeling that sunlight is(life and day are)only loaned:
whereas night is given(night and death
and the rain are given;and given is how beautifully snow)
now i lay me down to dream of(nothing i or any somebody
or you can begin to begin to imagine)something which nobody may keep.
now i lay me down to dream of Spring

(From left to right: Coworker Doris with Hector and Junior, a gigantic tree from a nearby town named Yuscaran, taken from Montana de Luz looking down towards Nueva Esperanza, a beautiful unique flower here, an example of the brillant colores of flowers you can never get enough of!)

Saludos from Montana de Luz! It´s been a busy and frusterating week. This past weekend the other two Salters and I hung out in Teguc. It was fun to get away and see the bigger city for a while. We had this awesome coffee shake (which I am not addicted to...I hope) called a granita. It was marvelous. We also strolled around the city and had so many tipical foods. The air was fresh. It was great to have freedom of movement finally and be with people that I understand and relate with so easily.

However, this past weekend I had been struggling with a cold. This combined with the changing altitudes from Nueva Esperanza to Teguc caused both my ear drums to burst. This past week has been interesting struggling to hear but also feeling like I can´t breathe. However, at times it is nice not to hear when the kids are screaming my name constantly for second helpings at dinner!

Anyways, this is the second time for a two week period that I have been sick and this time with an infection. I was really struggling not to complain about this (thanks mom and dad for listening!) when I started praying and just thinking how lucky I truly am to be healthy and what a gift it is. I have been in such good health for most of my life. It is such a contrast to see kids as young as five struggling with AIDS, knowing they will be constantly battling low immune systems and needing pills every 12 hours for the rest of their lives. Here I am teaching physical education in the afternoons. Often, I have a couple kids who sit out because they can´t breathe or are just feeling too sick. One kid has been struggling for the last two weeks and been going into Teguc to see the doctor. So many of the kids go in to Teguc once a week to get shots and have their blood taken. And they don´t have moms and dads to complain to....

Another frusterating thing about this week is that the mom of four of our kids died. The mom had AIDS and survived a domestic violence situation. The violence had left her incapacitated to the point that she finally stopped breathing. Two of these kids are below the age of five and it was truly sad to see that they didn´t understand. Its so difficult to watch this situation as the oldest of these siblings is a 14 year-old girl who just wants to be normal and celebrate her quincenera (a big birthday party for 15 year-olds) in a couple of weeks. Montana de Luz will try to provide her with lots of dancing and cake, yet underneath it all she knows she is now the caretaker of her family. So its been a heavy week...

In the midst of this, GOD IS GOOD. All the time. Even in chronic sickness and suffering, even in disbelief and frusterations. Even when we don´t understand the suffering of kids and the death of those who are poor. Even when we personally experience sickness that helps us to better understand those who suffer around us...

Something I have taped to my door says, ¨for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.¨Phil 4:11 to 13. This is quite challenging. I find that the kids teach me to search for contentment and the joy in everyday. They teach me what it is to keep playing even when I don't feel like it. Please pray for these kids for the strength to keep loving and keep playing despite pain both physical and emotional. Please pray especially for this family of four kids, who just lost their mom. And pray for the health of your parents, cuz I bet theres a lot to be thankful for.

Lord, bless my enemies.

2008-10-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

Here is a challenging prayer:

¨Lord Bless my Enemies¨
A prayer of St. Nikolai of Orchid

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
Enemies have driven me into thy embrace more than friends have.
Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.
Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and have an extraneous inhabitant of the world.
Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, have ensconced myself beneath thy tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.
They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself.
They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments.
They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself. They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish.
Whenever I have made myself might, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf.
Wheenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background.
Whenever I have rused to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand.
Whenever I have thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep.
Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and traquil life, they have demolished it and driven me out.
Truly, my enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of thy garment.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitterly against me:
so that my fleeing to Thee may have no return;
so that all my hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs;
so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul;
so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins: arrogance and anger;
so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven;
ah, so that I may for once be freed from self deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of ilusory life.
Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself or herself. One hates his or her enemies only when they fail to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.
It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies. Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and enemies.
A slave curses enemeis, for he does not understand. But a son or daughter blesses them, for he or she understands. For a son or daughter knows that the enemies cannot touch his or her life. Therefore he or she freely steps among them and prays to God for them.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
AMEN.

Necesidades o deseos? Esa es la pregunta.

2008-09-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

¨What gives light must endure burning.¨Viktor Frankl.

Left to right: (Assistant director Rob holding Abi, Junior, Starlin y Alan playing while spotting a rainbow, Director Elen holding Starlin and Melisa).

In looking around the various places I have visited here in Honduras and the quality of life, I have noticed some differences between needs and wants.

For example, what do I need to survive (in order of most important)?

*love, to know and be made known to others (parental units or some guardian that guides you and socializes you, teaching you to value yourself and others)

*food (clean water especially), clothing, and shelter (security)

*hope, for tomorrows meal and for future job security and betterment

*a community, for knowledge of self and support

*medical care when dire situations arise

*a time of rest and recouperation for both the soul and body

*a relationship with the earth, reaping what is sown and appreciating all that was created

*fresh fruits of every kind, especially mango, maricuya and watermelon (ok, if you don´t think you need this to survive maybe you haven´t tried the fruits in Honduras! Just sayin.)

What have I realized are wants?

*toliet paper!!

*clean feet or sandals, and dry shoes

*chocolate

*constant running water and electricity

*a space of my own, a silence

*freedom of movement, the ability to walk or run when I want

*a shower without visitors, like ants and frogs and cockroaches

*unlimited text messaging and phone calls

*consistent phone service from TIGO, the phone service I use here

*the ability to define myself without using the color of my skin and its history here

*buses that follow a set time schedule

*hair that isn´t stringy no matter how much I shower

*freedom of staring (ok so it isn´t normally a freedom, but when many people, especially men, stare back at you intently you remember that your eyes don´t feel so free)

*pavedroads (driveable roads) and tiled floors

*vegetables, in every meal

*the ability to choose my job and the hours I work

*AND, the ability to dance all the time to the amazing Latin beats I constantly hear (although, there are definitely lots of opportunities!)

What can you idenitfy in your life as needs or wants? How does that play into how you fully live in each day? (more specifically, when did you last bite into a fresh mango? That´s defintiely both)

I haven´t really missed a.c. It feels pretty great to sweat most times. I´m learning to be more patient and know that though the mid-day can be swealtering hot, the evening will bring rain that downpours. Each time will be relaxing in its own right and I need to sit back and enjoy the day. I´m learning to take in the colors of the earth, noticing new colors of green and the vibrancy of each flower and leaf. Also, I love the depth of the mountains which are unparalled in beauty. There is a lot to say for the simplicity of having a home-made meals every day and learning to take life as it comes. Music has seemed to take on a whole new meaning and I am greatly enjoying learning to dance here. I am able to read books to my heart´s content and just sit to contemplate. Each day, I am filled with food (mmm Baleadas, my favorite dish, sorta a Honduran quesidilla that we have each Thursday breakfast), love from the kids, and the ability to be. My spanish is improving although I have had many impatient kids and funny misunderstandings in speaking. Asi es la vida (such is life)!!! May you continue also to enjoy fall (or winter as the temperature already may feel like) to its fullest and remember the creation around you as a gift to be contemplated and appreciated daily.

Psalters

2008-09-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Hey- Theres this awesome group that is so raw and real about spreading the love of God. Check them out: www.psalters.com

Pensando en mi familia y amigos

2008-09-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

(left to right: Five year-old Fany running on the sidewalk, the place where I´m going to plant a vegetable garden (there´s a might bit of work to do!), my coworker and education director Lidia holding little Alan, Mera and I at a birthday party, the kids playing with balloons in a nearby swimming pool with a gringo group).

¨Its not who you are that holds you back, its who you think you´re not.¨-unknown.

Cosas que me sorprenden

2008-09-18T11:10:00.001-07:00

Things that have surprized me:

-the ants that crawl on everything in seconds, and bite every spot on your feet that you never wanted anything to touch

-how quickly the rain will come in the afternoons and how the sun can shine at the same time

-how much access I have to the internet (nearly everyday)

-that I´m not sick of rice and beans and tortillas, just add a bit of hot sauce, though really salty here it helps me breathe a lot clearer (haha) and enjoy the spices in my food

-how easily memories of different friends and family come back to me

-how quickly the sun sets here, at about 6:00pm, its so dark cuz there are not many street lights

-that I started taking classical guitar lessons with my co-worker yesterday

-that I have a huge hunger for knowledge right now and am reading about 5 different books at the same time, including Harry Potter and the piedra filosofal (the first Harry Potter book in Spanish)

-that I haven´t lost the wonder in the trees, flowers, and different fruits that grow in this area, the colors are just magnicicent

-that I don´t miss chocolate (that much) but I did have some chocolate cake yesterday and it was pretty much a big deal

-the amount of resources we have at Montana de Luz rocks and yet the kids are really creative without these things and willing to give of their hearts and their lives each day

Mi primera semana en M.D.L.

2008-09-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

(left to right from the top:
1. Michael, Simon (son of Darren and Julie, MCC Honduras Reps) and Rachel in La Campa where Michael works,
2. a woman making Lencan pottery in La Campa,
3. me standing by a papaya tree with gigantic papayas,
4. Montana de Luz view from the front gate
5. Junior a three year old at Montana de Luz,
6. Junior and me playing with the camera,
7. the 32 kids at the home breaking a pinata for a birthday,
8. 6 hammocks set up for the kids in the shade,
9. the laundry area,
10. my new best friend Gaby who attends a local university and volunteers at Montana de Luz).

Today is a special day here in Nueva Esperanza because the kids are having a parade. They are celebrating Independence day, which is on Monday. Independence for Honduras was granted from Spain in 1821. To begin with, Honduras was originally inhabited by indigenous groups. The most powerful of these were the Mayans but the Lencas were also prevalent. (The picture of the woman making a pot is doing one of the most well known forms of Lencan art. This type of pottery continues to be popular especially in rural areas, such as La Campa near Gracias, Lempira.) From 1502 until 1821, the Spanish retained control of this country, naming it Honduras meaning ¨from the depths.¨The cities of Tegucigalpa and Comayagua were established because they were good mining centers.

However, in 1537, Chieftan Lempira (the money is called Lempiras, about 18 Lempiras per 1 American dollar) organized various indigenous groups to fight the Spaniards but were unsuccessful, resulting in a further establishment of Spanish rule. Finally, in a successful revolt against Spain began because of a resentment of Spanish taxes against the indigenous groups. In 1812, uprisings broke out in Tegucigalpa against Comayagua. In 1821 with four other Central American nations, Honduras declared its independence from Spain. It was part of the Central American Federation, which collapsed in 1838 when Honduras became officially independent.

Independence day here is celebrated by parades. Many of the youth here at M.D.L. (Montana de Luz) were dressed up in beautiful butterfly outfits or fancy marching uniforms. The kids often play the drums, trumpets, and the girls dance a specific dance. Its facinating to watch.

Things have been going pretty well for this first week. I have mostly been shadowing the education teacher here. She is originally from El Salvador and did Peace Corps in Guatemala and is now getting her masters in the U.S. in international development. She has lot of experience teaching abroad and I think I will learn a ton from her. Mostly, my job will be helping her teach the pre-kindergartners in the mornings and teaching physical education on my own in the afternoons. I am ready to get deeper relationships with the kids, especially the teenaged girls. They often get less attention and are at a crucial developmental stage. I hope also to start some type of dance therapy with them too.

Also, Rachel and I got a chance to accompany a gringo group that is volunteering at M.D.L. to a club soccer game in Tegucigalpa. It was Olimpia vs. Montagua. The club teams are different than the national soccer team. The Honduras national team just beat Canada and Jamaica but lost to Mexico. Now, those three national teams are coming to play in Honduras. Basically, everthing in the town stops when these games are on and you can hear the tvs from every house tuned into the same station. The club games are less of a big deal but many people came out to watch them. Olimpia had a huge cheering section, despite their loss that day 0-2 to Montagua.

I have gotten a chance to learn how to cook masa tortillas and bean soup. The fruits here continue to be rico
and my favorite is one called maricuya. It has these little seeds and is slimy but has an amazing tart but sweet taste. You just want more of it all the time! I bought three of those and three carrots because I just crave vegetables and fruits here.

My friend Gaby (in the picture above) has been so warm and welcoming. She is 21 and attends the University of Danli, which is nearby. She is studying civil engineering but volunteering here during the days. She is working to get my in-style, taking me this Sunday to cut mi fleckillo (my bangs) and get me to buy some popular kind of Honduran clear sandals that look like the ¨jellies¨I had when I was younger. I am excited to get to know her more. Her heart is so generous and she continues to give me bracelets and trade me clothing.

I have loved the kids so far. Most of them have challenging life situations. One girl this week had to go visit her mother because she went into a coma and it was a life-threatening situation. Another boy has intenstinal issues on top of having HIV. Sometimes he just lays in the shade saying ¨duele mi estamago.¨ (my stomache hurts). We just pick them up and hold them and continue playing, seeking the most joy possible in a day.

I definitely feel thankful to have a healthy body, an amazing loving family, and so many great friends and opportunities in my life. I have learned to be more satistifed with showers every 3 or 4 days, and not always knowing if the electricity will shut off. I have learned to find peace in the night sky and the gates that protect me, even though I feel a bit captive at times. I am learning what it is to be a woman here and what freedom of moment really means in a culture where not everything is always guarenteed, such as the safety of a path. Never the less, I had an amazing last week filled with plenting of challenges, but also accompanied by a God who was much bigger than it all.

Here is a prayer I wrote for the justice and love of the kids of M.D.L. :

In the midst of the mourning sun
my our voice resonate louder than distress,
as we speak to the desperation in this world,
may our hearts magnifcy love and justice,
and may it become our center, our solid rock.

seeking patience and goodness, let us weigh
the cost of misrepresenting love of a Father
desperate to hold each child in their condition:
AIDS-infected, heart-broken, or with skinned knees.

I realize a lot of this seems really serious but I have been laughing a lot here. The kids bring a lot of joy and silly jokes. There is especially one that loves to tickle a lot. Also, I just feel satisfied by owning less things and being able to enjoy the earth more. I have been able to call my parents a bit but I am definitely missing a lot of you all. Hope things are going well for you as you get started in more school or fall activities. And remember if you ever think things are getting too cold in your part of the world, just know I am sweating enough to make up for most of you!

Nueva Esperanza para la primera vez

2008-09-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

I´m here in Nueva Esperanza. We arrived this evening (Sunday) around dinner time. We stayed with some friends from Goshen College from Goshen, Indiana (Ben and Joy Metcalf) this morning and afternoon to see where they were teaching in the capital, Tegucigalpa. It is neat to see some familiar faces in this area. They are teaching at a private Christian school located just up in the mountains of Teguc. It was interesting to see such an Americanized school in this area. Many kids of the Honduran elite and ambassadors attend this school. It was so different to see it after touring the MAMA project in the slums of San Pedro Sula. It seems to be more evidence of westernized culture, for both good and bad. The resources this school had were awesome and I´m sure they give these kids an amazing Christian education. Part of your heart just wishes they could reach so many more kids, especially the ones on the streets and working around the clock in local tiendas or kitchens. Que sera?
Afterwards, we drove about 45 minutes to Nueva Esperanza and walked around the Mountana de Luz grounds to meet a lot of the kids. The kids seem to be amazing, wanting to hug and be held. One kid in particular was named Hector and clung to Amanda, my SALT director here in Honduras. His face was covered in scabs and evidence from his infection of HIV-AIDS. His love was so much worn on his sleeve that it was impossible not to want to just play with him there in the dirt. There are for sure the tough ones that don´t want to look at strangers and are scared to give their hearts away to some new volunteer. It´s going to be great though getting to know these kids more and being able to be a more steady presence in their lives. I am also ready to work with younger kids and experience the different rewards and challenges that come along with that. I love how kids love! I love how they play and can become consumed with their task at hand, forgetting about the sorrows of life and the poverty surrounding them. It will be a great year of reorienting my sense of time and accomplishments. I know there will be plenty of things that I ¨want¨to achieve and I´m sure God has his own plans as well. I am working on reorienting my heart to his voice and understanding what his heart is for his people.
Here in Honduras it is easy so far for me to just become frusterated with systems. To begin with, the government is a corrupt system that does not provide adequate health care or social programs for starving people. There is so much hypocracy. Yet, in the midst of this ugliness I am working to remember that these are God´s children too. God is passionate about the government workers just as he is for me. Yes, they have made some mistakes just as I have. How can we reorient our minds to allow for this type of grace? How can we find hope in this struggle to redistribute resources based on a principle that isn´t capitalism, unitarianism, or economics that seem so logical?
I was reading about the Grameen bank started by Muhammed Yunus in Bangladesh. He set up a bank that the poor could own and take out their own microloans. This truly improved the conditions of many of the poorest of the poor in this country. Also, his banks spread to other countries. It seems that we spend all this time trying to solve poverty when really we need to give the tools and opportunities to those who we are really trying to affect. Every person has something to give and we often act like the poor do not. Yet, they have skills and various internal resources that must be tapped into. Check Yunus out. He started as an economics professor and has made an enormous change for his country. He´s an incredible guy.
I have been impressed so far with MCC Honduras and all the different organizations we are able to support. We just got done having our team meeting in La Campa, where Michael is for the year. We visited various agricultural projects put on by CASM, the Comite Accion Social Menonita. The group in this area were helping farmers stop cutting down trees by helping them plant cocoa trees and finding new alternative stoves to cook with. Also, they helped the workers there build more efficent pins for chickens and rabits. It was empowering to see the farmers show us their work and the pride with which they spoke about it. Within one community, one woman even spoke up and told about the women´s community gardens and other animal projects they had specifically been doing. While I know that not every project is this well organized, the community and sense of accomplishment with this group was phenomenal. I truly enjoyed visiting these areas and am anxious to see what projects Michael will see accomplished and what type of environmental educating he will do.
Let´s see, I´ve been running a little bit. Often it is hard to know if I am in a safe enough area. I really crave exercise but sometimes things just don´t happen like you desire. I´ve learned that Hondurans are crazy patient people. They are just always waiting for something. If they say a show or event will begin at 7 pm, usually that means around 8 or 830. I´ve just gotten used to wating for buses more and appreciating the environment around me. Also, I´ve gotten used to being dirty. At first it was a bit uncomfortable. Now, I feel like once I´m dirty I forget to notice it and I´ve even gone about 3 or 4 days without showering and not even noticed. Its actually kinda refreshing not to have to worry about showering or smelling good. Also, it makes me realize how concious we are about being clean in the U.S. We change clothes frequently and put on good smelling perfumes and cologne. It just feels natural to be here. I´m sure I will get tired of things smelling after a while and there really is nothing like the day after laundry day, especially when your laundry has dried in the sun.
Also, I am enjoying having less technology. I have an MCC-issued cell phone to call people in-country. It is nice not to have to worry about checking messages (cuz you all know how I would wait until I had 9 or 10 messages in the U.S.) and just take life as it comes. Man, let me tell you the frozen fruit pops or paletas are literally and figuratively ¨the bomb.¨ The flavors are so sweet and leche here just is different. I don´t know how to describe it but milk and cheese are just different. There are various types of cheese and I think I like this dry crumbly cheese the best. But watch out, because it will definitely sneak attack your stomache the next morning! Haha.
Well, for now that´s all. Tomorrow I get to sleep in and just get oriented to Montana de Luz and this new town, Nueva Esperanza. Andrew and Amanda and Rachel are leaving to take Rachel to her assignment with micro-loans in Teguc. I´m very much looking foward to being on my own and finally being emmersed in Spanish. Its been comforting speaking Spanglish with my fellow gringos but its time to jump into Honduras and the world of kids. I love working with kids because they are not humble about correcting you or laughing at your mistakes. This truly helps you learn because often adults are too polite to laugh at the ridiculous things you say. Learning Spanish has helped me understand the difficulty of being a foreigner and being frusterated at not expressing your thoughts always. Sometimes your head just begins to spin and nothing makes sense at all. That´s when you hit the sack and start the day anew. It also sheds new light on the experiences of immigrants and the truly tough life that this is. Well, more on that subject later because this will get far too long if we breach that subject.
May you each be blessed in your own piece of the world. May God shine his face upon you, as you reach out to those in your community and with a heart that has been set for the task before you. May you realize the true joy in giving of your material possessions and of your time, knowing the richness that life can offer you.

My choices

2008-09-02T07:07:00.000-07:00

I choose love...no occasion justifies hatred: no injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love...this year I will lo9ve God and what God loves.
I choose joy...I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to by cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose peace...I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I choose patience...I will overlook the inconvenience of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I´ll invite her to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose kindness...I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone, kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And king to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness...I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I convict. I choose goodness.
I choose faithfulness...this year I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My family will not question my love and they will never fear that I will not come home.
I choose gentleness...nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it only be in praise. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I choose self-control...I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these we commit our year. If we succeed, we will give thanks. If we fail, we will seek grace. And then, when the year is done, we will place our heads on our pillows and rest.

-MCC sending prayer from the retreat in Akron, PA

This year, may you choose to see the good in yourself, even when you are struggling.

Information about MCC Honduras

2008-09-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

Left to right: (me with a vibrant flower, another colorful flower, a trail to visit some Mayan Ruines, my little brother Antony with a traditional Campeseno hat, my host mom chopping coconuts with a machete)

So heres a bit more information about how MCC (Mennonite Central Committee) works in Honduras:

They most often partner with organizations or ministries that are already established and provide financial and volunteer support. For example, MCC Honduras partners with

>Servicio Cistiano Menonita (Mennonite Christian Service)- in the departamento of El Paraiso, administering various social and justice related programs
>Comision de Accion Social Menonita (Commission of Mennonite Social Action)- in San Pedro Sula, working for social change
>Proyecto Mama (Mama Project)- in San Pedro Sula, this is an amazing program that helps tutor kids with learning disabilities and provides extra after school help, they also assist women in health education, nutrition, family food production and small business development, emergency food assistance and home repair, we visited this project today and it was amazing to see all that was going on there!!!!
>Aldea Global (Global Village)- in Teguicigalpa, this helps with community development reducing HIV/AIDS, conserving forests, and works to fight domestic violence
>Ministerios Cristianso de Mayordomia (Christian Stewardship Ministries)- various programs
>CODESCO (Bretheren in Christ partner)- in the departmento Choluteca, helping conserve and find better ways to use water
>Montana de Luz (Mountain of Light)- in Nueva Esperanza, providing tutoring and developmental assistance to youth with HIV/AIDS, this is where I will be!
>ASJ-Associacion para una Sociedad mad Justa (Association for a more Just Society)- in Tegucigalpa, fighting for workers and human rights/ check out www.revistazo.com for more information

Other MCC Honduras Workers:

Darren Yoder and Julie Aeschliman, Simon and Lucia: Country Representatives living in San Pedro Sula
Andrew Clouse and Amanda Lind- MCC Salt coordinators/connecting peoples living in San Pedro Sula
Caleb Yoder- doing a 3 year MCC term, living in San Pedro Sula
Josh and Maria Eley-McClain- administrators of the Mama Project and Farm, living in El Cipres
Virgil and Kathy Troyer- MCC disaster team coordinators for Central America, living in Tegucigalpa
Marcos Flores- MCC office assistant, living in San Pedro Sula
Rachel Reed- Salter, working on micro-loans, living in Tegucigalpa
Michael Wiebe-Johnson- Salter, enrivonmental educator, living in La Campa in Gracias
Liz Goering- Salter, working at Montana de Luz with children who have HIV/AIDS, living in Nueva Esperanza

Some cities I will be referencing:

Copan Ruinas- a city in the south central region of the country where I had language school for 2 weeks, it has the ruins from the ancient Mayan civilization and is a fairly quaint touristy town
Nueva Esperanza- means New Hope in English, this is where the Montana de Luz is located and where I will be more days during the week working with kids
Tegucigalpa- the captial of Honduras, and about 45 min. away from Nueva Esperanza, its the largest city from where I will be living and the other Salter Rachel will be working with micro-loans there also
La Campa- means The Country in English, located in the departamento of Lempira, where the other Salter Michael will be working with environmental education
San Pedro Sula- a large city in the Northwest where the MCC Honduras offices are located as well as five of the other MCC workers live there

There is a lot of stuff going on here and its really neat how MCC works to partner with other organizations. There are around 105 Mennonite Churches in Honduras, 11 of which are in San Pedro Sula. This past Sunday we attended the ¨Mother Church¨which was the first Mennonite Church in Honduras. The music was awesome and the people were very passionate. We prayed for one taxi driver who is forced to pay a ¨war tax¨by various groups in San Pedro who are holding taxi drivers at gun point if they do not pay. This is a grave situation and every night after 7 or 8 pm this man´s life could be on the line. Please pray for him and other taxi drivers who face the danger and harassment of paying this sum to these groups. Also, pray for those that are harassing. They are impoverished and struggling to make it in a society that is not set up for many people to have jobs and survive. This is the root of the issue and needs to be addressed before the oppression can be stopped.

Another interesting thing I ran across in Copan Ruinas was a social service program for poor or street children in Copan called Arte Accion Copan Ruinas (Art Action Copan Ruinas). This program was started in May 1999, and seeks to use art, photography, videos, drama, and other media to reach children who are impoverished. Through art, the workers of this organization work to help children learn self confidence, and promote healthy social interactions with one´s environment, children´s rights, and the environment. This is a type of art therapy that children would otherwise not have access to. The youth have all kinds of art available for people to buy to support them. They also are in need of resources or volunteers. If you´re interested check them out: www.arteaccionhonduras.org or www.mayacopan.info

2008-08-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

Left to Right (1. a large tree at the Mayan ruinas, 2. a rainy day in Copan, 3. a view outside my window, 4. one of the rich homes in Copan, 5. my host mom making tomales, 6. Me, Michael Wiebe-Johnson, and Rachel Reed at the Parque de Aves, 7. my one and a half year old host brother Antony in a hammock, 8. lunch with Rachel, our tutors, and me at an awesome restaurant, 9. an amazing natural plant in Copan, 10. tamales made from 3 hours of my mother´s hard work).

2008-08-30T12:44:00.001-07:00

(the pictures are of: the view out of my host family´s house, one of the amazing plants I´ve seen here, me next to a banana tree, Michael (another Salter) in a bird park with parrots, and a view from the living room in my host family´s house).

Hey beloved family and friends!!

How are you? I´ve just finished up two weeks in language school in Copan Ruinas. Copan Ruinas is a small touristy town on the west side of Honduras, only about 6 miles from Guatemala. I had a great time with Rachel and Michael taking classes and seeing the sights.
My host family has been great. I had a mother and father with three younger siblings. The youngest was Antony, who was one and half. He definitely ran the show at his home and was the center of attention all the time. They were a fun family and were always wanting to play cards or talk about their evangelical church services, which I attended twice for 2 and a half hours each. Often, we would eat dinner after church at 9:30 so I´ve been learning a lot about self-control! This family was quite well off and I was able to shower, have a fan, and eat pretty much any type of food. They also loved Coco Crispies and other name brand cereals. My sister goes to a bilingual school of which their school year is also just starting up. My host father was a money changer and my mother ran her own salon. They both seemed to be pretty hipe and into American fashion.
Michael, Rachel and I went to a place called Copan Ruinas, which had the ruines from the ancient Mayan civiliazations. The trees in this area were amazingly lush and huge. The ruins are incredible. We listened to some guides speaking in Spanish and English, but mostly we just walked around the area. There are many ritual grounds and recreational spots. The area is peaceful and filled with sunlight. We´ve been able to hike a lot around the area. The first day we were here we took a hike into the mountains on a pretty well-worn path. It was this way because many indigenous farmers were tending their cows in this area. The grass is so green and all the boys working in this area worked with amazing strength to get their cows and other animals up and down these mountains.
Another place we went to was called Aguas Calientes. This was a natural hot spring. It had a fountain flowing with both the cold and really hot streams of water that mixed to create a very relaxing pool. It was great after a long day of thinking and realizing that I no longer speak either Spanish or English but really my own language! This area was fun to be at but the road to get there was pretty insane. Most of it was washed out and it was quite a bumpy ride, of which I thoroughly enjoyed in the back seat!!! At one point on our way home we had to get out and rearrange some rocks in the middle of the road in order to cross it. The locals were there to help up and it ended up being a fun time. All of the Americans in the bus were singing hymns and even Christmas songs so we created a lot of solidarity out of this moment.
Food here has been good so far. They have such creamy beans that are really tasty. Also, we have a lot of lime spritzed on everything. The fresh juices and fruits are by far my favorite and there have even been some good veggies every once and a while. I miss a lot of veggies from home but I´m learning to adjust. My host family had a water filter and I was pretty spoiled being able to have water whenever I needed. However, they do love their pop, especially fruity flavored pop such as grape, strawberry, and maricuya. The coffee here is amazing and I´m really trying to cut back. I feel myself getting addicted because it all tastes so good!
From my Spanish tutor, I learned a ton about what is it like to be a Copaneca (person from Copan). She had a sincere desire for learning and constantly wanted to speak with me about politics, education, cultural influences from the US, and the Honduran government´s lack of action. It is surprising how much is imported from the US. My host family had so many name brands and similar products as we all would have. They also seem to be very into American culture and read the headlines of what is going on about the elections constantly. Most of the people I have talked to here want Obama for president because of his immigration stance and desires to help the Hondurans break free from the leftist ALBA agreement with Chavez. It has been interesting hearing my Spanish tutor talk about the depressing things that are going on yet still be able to end her conversations with a smile. She seems to respond to things with a hope that does not stake its claim in the Honduran government for action. Also, she seems committed to her faith and is sure that it will aid her and her family through the tough times they will encounter. It is amazing to hear her talk and live with a hope that is not always able to be seen.

Well, more on this all later. I´m getting ready to head to La Campa, where Michael will be for the rest of the year, for a staff meeting with all the Mennonite Central Committee Honduras Team. We´re gonna be there for one week and then I will head to Nueva Esperanza to start working with the youth. I don´t know my mailing address but I hope to know soon because I´d love to receive mail and know what´s going on in all your lives as well! With love!

Orientation

2008-08-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

Hey! So we started SALT orientation here in Akron this past Friday, August 9. We've been going over various topics, such as how to be culturally competent and what kind of medical coverage we will have down here. We get about $74 a month to live on which will be a lot in the Honduran economy. I am excited to learn more and I have a great team of two others going with me. Rachel will work with a micro-finance organization in Tegucigalpa while Michael will do environmental education in La Campa, a smaller town. We will first go to language school for 2 weeks and I'm looking forward to spending time with them and the two other MCC representatives in Honduras.

I'll leave you all with an inspiring quote I read at my friends Christy and Kyle Miller Hesed's wedding:

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you my reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy. May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. Amen.

-Franciscan Blessing

Overall, I've met a lot of other great SALTers and am excited to get started on this new adventure. Please email or facebook me cuz I'd love to hear from you!

Preparing

2008-05-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to love?

Hey, it's May and in a couple of months I am embarking on a new adventure to Nueva Esperanza, Honduras. I am going with the Mennonite Central Committee through the program called SALT (serving and learning together). I will work for the majority of the 11 months of this next year with kids who have HIV/AIDS in a youth home called Montana de Luz, which means mountain of light in Spanish. I will hopefully be fluent in Spanish and use that with my newly earned social work degree from the University of Kansas this May. In this youth home, I will most likely be teaching preschoolers in the mornings and I will work with jr high and high school youth in English and other school skills during the afternoons.

I am getting genuinely excited about the adventure of discovering Honduras. I think it will be an amazing, humbling and truly changing experience. I hope to understand in greater depth what it means to love the people I will work and live with. I hope to understand how God, who is LOVE, will be real in the lives of those suffering from HIV/AIDS. I hope also to love the Honduran culture and become a more whole person through understanding this new perspective.

In preparation for Nueva Esperanza, I was recently reading Thomas Merton. Here's a little ditty from his chapter "Love is being kept only by giving it away,"

"One who really loves another is not merely moved by the desire to see him contented and health and prosperous in this world. Love cannot be satisfied with anything so incomplete. If I am to love my brother, I must somehow enter deep into the mystery of God's love for him. I must be moved not only by human sympathy but by that divine sympathy which is revealed to us in Jesus and which enriches our lives by the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. The truth I love in loving my brother cannot be something merely philosophical and abstract. It must be at the same time supernatural and concrete, practical and alive. And I mean these words in no metaphorical sense. The truth I love in in my brother, is God Himself, living in him. I must seek the life of the Spirit of God breathing in him. And I can only discern and follow the mysterious life by the action of the same Holy Spirit living and acting in the depths of my own heart."

-Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

What are other characteristics of Love?

**Love never gives up.
** Love cares more for others than for self.
**Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
**Love doesn't strut,
**Doesn't have a swelled head,
**Doesn't force itself on others,
**Isn't always "me first,"
**Doesn't fly off the handle,
**Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
**Doesn't revel when others grovel,
**Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything,

* Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

The Message, 1 Corinthians 13:2-4