Una poema para inspiracion

Hey,
I wrote a poem I wrote a while ago. It speaks to my progression in humility, grace, and a more florescent perspective of my creator.

In a Glimpse of a Moment

In a glimpse of a moment
we stand
masquerading as equals, as allies,
bending to the wants of our flesh,
worshipping what befalls our eyes.
In a glimpse of a moment
we kneel
passing each day beneath the sun,
knowing the expiration dates are set,
and that all will pass away.
In a glimpse of a moment
we breathe
in the colors, scents and laughter
that make each steady rotation
worth our broken humanity.
In a glimpse of a moment
we bend
as though trees in the wind
adapting to the scars of sorrow,
thinking of time's inflexibility.
In a glimpse of a moment
we fall
scattering self-sufficency like glass,
realizing that a weak human body
is sufficent for a moment of grace,
and that is all covers this severed skin.

Hippies rock!

left to right: (the hippie couple we met, me, Rachel, and Michael)

      So, we met these hippies over New Years in Utila, a bay island off the coast of Honduras. They have been wanting to come help women's groups learn more skills with jewelry and the bracelet craft. They have recently email Michael and Rachel to work with groups in their area of Honduras. This hippie couple is from Guatemala and they were quite inspiring to talk to. They have been traveling all over Central America to see their crafts and just live off of what they sell. The woman in this picture made me a great toe anklet out of waxy thread. I had seen these around and described it to her. This piece of work loops around my second big toe and works its way upward around my ankle, creating quite the piece of art. She was able to create this new innovation and even made one the next day for herself. Its so cool to see people really engaged and passionate about what they are doing as they are able to spread that to other people. Central Americans have been some of the most friendly people. Spreading love...one bracelet at a time. 

       I'm reading The Shack, which has been a really good book so far. Its challenging me how I talk about God verses how I really believe in him. Sometimes in a religious culture, we are quick to speak about God's qualities but when it comes to tragedies and other injustices it can be so tough to keep believing that God is consistent. Right now I am working on loving the kids at MdL consistently, even when I have days of not seeing God work how I expect him to. Or even when certain kids might seem to be getting sicker...

       Please keep praying for 6 year-old Hector. He had a bloodshot eye due to new medical problem other than the illnesses he is already dealing with. He is also on a special diet, which can be hard because he just really wants to eat spaghetti but this does too much harm to his stomach. 

      Please pray for a unity in vision for Montana de Luz. At times, the directors and the BOD in Ohio see different visions and that can make it tough to keep things rolling smoothly. I've learned a lot from this experience about development work and the challenges that arise from operating in two different cultures. 

       May God continue to wow all of us with his plans, though we might be uncomfortable and unsure, may we be in a place that allows us to be unabashedly trusting our heavenly father.

Muchas Gracias

The kids needed to make a sign (Muchas Gracias) for some of our sponsers. I thought it was pretty cute. Check out these chulo (cuties) kids!

fotitos

Left to Right: (my compassion child Rony (far right) and his father and brother whom I visited last November, my short hair cut which has finally grown, kids Mera, Junior, Alan, Starlin, and Abi playing before school starts, the view outside my house to our neighborhood, the garden we are finally growing at Montana de Luz)



"However selfish soever man may be supposed," Smith wrote, "there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it."

This quote is from Freakonomics by Steven D. Levit and Stephen J. Dubner, a book I recently finished reading. I highly recommend reading Freakonomics because it really makes you think about social problems in an intersesting sense of insentives and personal drives. This quote by Adam Smith was interesting to me because I thought, what happens when we don't get the pleasure of seeing what we are working towards? What if justice is such a long-term plan that we aren't in on seeing "results"? We can hope and pray and struggle for things unseen before our eyes and maybe even the generation after us. This is definitely something I've struggled with lately as there can be so many setbacks at times working with a vulnerable population and with HIV/AIDS, a rampant disease. Everyday, I'm working to see each opportunity and challenge with new eyes that don't always rely on results in the Western sense. What does it mean to do justice and walk humbly anyways?
Luckily, all but one of our kids passed and are going onto the next grade this Monday when school starts. I'm going to be working with Marvin, a 14 year-old boy, who hasn't passed first grade. We are starting a program called Educatodos which helps people get caught up to at least 6th grade.
I'm also working to teach some conflict management skills. This seems to be something that is definitely lacking here, as the kids don't know how to deal with social aggression. As my vocabulary expands, I'm learning how to be a better teacher which just takes soooooo much patience. I kinda want to go back to every grade I passed and just thank my teachers for having put up with a lot. Especially kindergarten teachers. However, I've found the secret of using chocolate and stickers as motivation.

May you all keep motivated in whatever you are doing during these cold months, even if it sometimes takes a little hersey kiss to get you there. After all, I'm just carrying on one of the greatest life lessons my dad taught me.

Yo escogo alegria!

I choose joy...I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refsue to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

-from Akron training

Halfway point: 6 months left to go. Here I sit in the office with a cool breeze sipping strong Indio coffee, having run 20 minutes on a country road that leads to Ojo de Agua (the nearest town), and being welcomed home by my morning breakfast of fried eggs, liquified beans, hard cheese and tortillas, not to mention that my host mom tried to serve me tea but I just couldn't do it after sweating so much. The summer is here. The weather is hot, especially during the afternoons. The boys got into a big soccer game yesterday and we played musical chairs with the girls. I am quite excited to be back to work with the kids after being gone for nearly a month.
In the beginning of January, I had the chance to go to Nicaragua for an MCC retreat as well as language school in La Ceiba, Honduras. After catching up with more people here I have found that traveling is such a luxury. So many Hondurans don't know places in their country because of hard economic situations and the fact that travel can take quite a while here. Many people cannot take off work or find care for their kids while they are aware. Now that my spanish has gotten better I seem to be more aware of the struggles of my fellow co-workers.
Yesterday, I was talking to the cleaning lady here who was saying that she struggles with depression. Her husband left her to care for her 11 and 18 year old daughters. She lives in a neighboring town and says that most of her connections are with people from Montana de Luz here in Nueva Esperanza. However, so many women have children at a young age and motherhood can make it difficult to make time for anything else.
Another co-worker I was talking with says that she can hardley pay school fees this semester. It is difficult because the prices can be high and the government hardley helps anyone pay for school. She works at as a cook at MDL but she hopes to find another job here. All the temperal work is usually with the watermelon harvest in this area, which requires lots of manual labor and the workers must focus on the job 24/7 for a month at a time.
My other friend had to switch Universities because her last one was too expensive. That also meant switching career paths, which kinda rocked her life for a couple weeks. It just seems so unjust to have so little options and opportunities in a democratic society...She asks for your prayers to be at peace, find confidence to continue in her new career of ecotourism, and find the money to support her schooling.
In the midst of hearing about the U.S. economic crisis, I also have paused to acknowledge that Honduras has been in an economic crisis for many years. People have been struggling, sacrificing, and scraping by. Yet, they earn degrees, they construct houses after the rainy season, and they feed the children, though it may be the same beans and eggs and tortillas they had for dinner the night before. My eyes are definitely opened to the creativity of those with less resources and their true appreciation of what it is to afford a birthday cake and pinata to celebrate a birthday, money to finally buy a sofa, and the relief of finally fumigating for mosquitos that seem to take over on summer nights.

In all of this, I will choose joy. I refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God...

Escuela en Ceiba

Como esta el nieve?? How is the snow? I don't miss it but I do miss my sunny Kansas skies. The rain has been crazy this week and last week here in Ceiba. Michael and I are in language school trying to better our spanish in the northern part of Honduras. It has much more of a Garifuna population, an African indigenous group that decended from slaves. Now there are various Garifuna villages here that speak Garifuna and are known for dancing punta and eating lots of seafood. Punta, their traditional dance, is composed of fast beats and moving your butt in tiny circles. Various kids at Montana de Luz can do it and its impressive, not to mention wonderful exercise!
Things are going well here at language school. I feel encouraged with my spanish and I can tell that I am learning more right now. We attended a Mennonite church here and the service was surprizingly short but I guess I've just finally gotten used to the 3 or 4 hour church services here. Its great to finally know the music that is playing on the radio stations around me and feel at ease speaking to basically anyone around me. I'm still bothered by the machismo but I am learning to ask God for more courage.
My 23rd birthday is this Friday and I'm excited to spend it here in Ceiba, discovering the world around me. I've tried pastelitos de carne *(like empanadas) and various soups here. I've also heard that this was the birthplace of baleadas and have yet to eat one that has been "authentically" made. It will be a pleasure. Michael and I also went to a Dole company park here. Honduras was one of the most passive countries in the fight with the United Fruit company and it is evident in how active the Dole companies and other banana farmers are still present in this area. It will be hard, but I feel convicted to give up bananas especially after seeing how much control foreigners have on this sector of the Honduran economy contributing to more poverty here.
I hope you are all well and finding new reasons for getting out in the cold world in which you life right now. Enjoy this season, whatever it may be for you, and remember to enjoy some kind of chocolate for me on Friday, probably kitkats are the best!

La Navidad con tamales y torejas

left to right (Copan Ruinas (the second time I went when Katie and Laura visited!), pods of a sweet plant, beautiful view from the rooftops of Copan, the brillance of flowers here, and a quaint cafe where coffee is so fresh and so stong.




























Happy holidays. Hope you all had a relaxing Christmas. Sounds like weather is freezing but here it is a breezy day. There has been a bit of rain here in San Pedro Sula but I´ve definitely enjoyed the heat. I´m still sweating but I enjoyed my chill Christmas here.
My two great friends Laura Swick and Katie Copeland came to visit me the week before Christmas. It was so refreshing to be with them again. I felt like I could express myself and they really understood me! Finally. And we went to Copan Ruinas again and it was fun to see how much I had grown and how much more spanish I now know. All of that with the knowledge that I know so little in the sceme of grasping this language and it keeps me humbled every day. We had a really fun time trying new foods and just sharing a relaxing time together. Why don´t we, as Americans, just relax more together? It was blissful. They were a blessing on my host family, who was excited for them to be there even though it was short. Their presence also made me miss so many wonderful people in my life but it was the perfect Christmas gift just to see them.
For many in this world, Christmas is not a time to relax but to work. On the 24th, I went with my host mom Teresa to work at her tajaditas (plantain chips) business. We started early in the morning to pack the chips into small and big bags. We fried two huge barrels of plantains. The business went well that day but it got hot sitting inside this building when the electricity and water was off for most of the day. Teresa was so good to me, always offering fruit juice and water to me. She offered the best that she had.
Christmas day was quite tranquil. I watched Titanic with Diana, Carlos, and Daniel (my host siblings). I also lost in a 45 min game of monopoly. That was a record loss for me, as the capitalistic game did not even last an hour. However, it seemed so indicative of how capitalism can really encourage greed, as Daniel complained about paying 25 dollar amounts of rent after I shelled out thousands of dollars on his hotels. Haha.
They served nacatamales. This is a specific type of tamale that has a corn based masa, chicken, a red masa, olives, and red beans. It is tasty, especially with hot sauce, but it can sit heavy on your stomache. I could only eat one. Also, torejas are a special dessert here. They are basically fried eggs surrounded by bread and coated in dark sugar cane. Fairly nutritous. With torejas I could also only eat one but I enjoyed it.
The day after Christmas we were back to pack tajaditas. Teresa really appreciated my help and kept giving me juice and water to keep me hydrated. My mom also travels in the buses, selling her products in the local towns. This is hard work and can be quite uncomfortable, as the buses rock and drive really crazy. However, I am always amazed at her generosity as she gives bags of tajaditas to my friends that visit and anyone else deemed a visitor. It is an exhausting life to pack tajaditas all day and then return home to cook dinner for about an hour and fall asleep to her soap operas on tv. Women here have some serious stamina.
I´ve really been amazed also how she seems to live day to day. Talk about asking for daily bread... She goes to the local pulperia (local store run out of ppl´s houses) to buy just the exact amount of sugar, eggs, and manteca she will use to cook that day. And each day in her work, she fries and packs just two barrels of plantains. It seems to give her no security at all and no time to ever be sick. Daniel and Carlos are working to find jobs around the town. When American groups come in , Carlos works to sell various things to them. Daniel went to work to pick watermelon and beans for a while. It´s all seasonal work and only allows them to work for weeks at a time. Diana has no cares in the world except to support her team Olympia (one of the club soccer teams from Tegucigalpa) and to win as much Uno as she can.
I finished reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and it really made me want to plant vegetables. I don´t get much of those here. When Teresa heard that I liked veggies she decided to make a veggie stew but ended up putting an entire stick of butter in. That kinda defeated the purpose of why I like vegetables. As is true to the Honduran manner of cooking, I´ll bet she added some sugar. Overall, I feel very grateful for the food that she makes and it makes me all the more aware that I am another mouth she needs to feed and that she does it with grace.
I missed so many of you this Christmas. Hope you are eating lots of pepernuts and chocolate covered things. That book also made me realize how eating should be a spiritual or sacred experience. So many people don´t have the options that we have. We need to choose well and eat slowly. Kingsolver also talked about supporting locally because it really is more effective than buying foods that are shipped over miles and miles. It makes me convicted about bananas. It really sucks that bananas are so abundant here and so many Hondurans do not get a fair price selling them. It makes me not want to buy them in the US because of this injustice. Really so much of what we do is based on what we are used to and the habits that we establish. If we can break our habits to create a more just society, than what is this small sacrifice really?
This book also really made me want to just take in nature. Just marvel in what´s around me. Sometimes the trash here can be distracting but Honduras really is a gorgeous country. The natural beauty is overwhelming, the brillance of the flower and funky shapes. The birds also have amazing songs that they never stop cooing. There is so much life here and it is abundant, despite human attempts to trash it, relocate it, or destroy it.
I´m heading up to Utila for New Years. This is a bay island on the north coast of Honduras. I´m excited to see the beaches but everything will be more expensive because it is a well-known backpacker spot. Really it won´t be super expensive in US terms but after living with my monthly allowence here and understanding typical Honduran spending its a bit humbling. I´m working to spend money well and give generously while living simply. Its quite the balance actually.
Anyways, we´re traveling to La Ceiba today and then off to the island. Should be a good adventure. There are a lot of those here. I just love how easy Hondurans are to talk to. They seem to always want to know where I am from, are my blue eyes real, and what I think of various Honduran dishes. May you all be well, take in the winter world around you (wherever you may be) and breathe in a bit deeper. Remain in love.