Necesidades o deseos? Esa es la pregunta.

¨What gives light must endure burning.¨Viktor Frankl.

Left to right: (Assistant director Rob holding Abi, Junior, Starlin y Alan playing while spotting a rainbow, Director Elen holding Starlin and Melisa).

In looking around the various places I have visited here in Honduras and the quality of life, I have noticed some differences between needs and wants.

For example, what do I need to survive (in order of most important)?

*love, to know and be made known to others (parental units or some guardian that guides you and socializes you, teaching you to value yourself and others)

*food (clean water especially), clothing, and shelter (security)

*hope, for tomorrows meal and for future job security and betterment

*a community, for knowledge of self and support

*medical care when dire situations arise

*a time of rest and recouperation for both the soul and body

*a relationship with the earth, reaping what is sown and appreciating all that was created

*fresh fruits of every kind, especially mango, maricuya and watermelon (ok, if you don´t think you need this to survive maybe you haven´t tried the fruits in Honduras! Just sayin.)

What have I realized are wants?

*toliet paper!!

*clean feet or sandals, and dry shoes

*chocolate

*constant running water and electricity

*a space of my own, a silence

*freedom of movement, the ability to walk or run when I want

*a shower without visitors, like ants and frogs and cockroaches

*unlimited text messaging and phone calls

*consistent phone service from TIGO, the phone service I use here

*the ability to define myself without using the color of my skin and its history here

*buses that follow a set time schedule

*hair that isn´t stringy no matter how much I shower

*freedom of staring (ok so it isn´t normally a freedom, but when many people, especially men, stare back at you intently you remember that your eyes don´t feel so free)

*pavedroads (driveable roads) and tiled floors

*vegetables, in every meal

*the ability to choose my job and the hours I work

*AND, the ability to dance all the time to the amazing Latin beats I constantly hear (although, there are definitely lots of opportunities!)

What can you idenitfy in your life as needs or wants? How does that play into how you fully live in each day? (more specifically, when did you last bite into a fresh mango? That´s defintiely both)

I haven´t really missed a.c. It feels pretty great to sweat most times. I´m learning to be more patient and know that though the mid-day can be swealtering hot, the evening will bring rain that downpours. Each time will be relaxing in its own right and I need to sit back and enjoy the day. I´m learning to take in the colors of the earth, noticing new colors of green and the vibrancy of each flower and leaf. Also, I love the depth of the mountains which are unparalled in beauty. There is a lot to say for the simplicity of having a home-made meals every day and learning to take life as it comes. Music has seemed to take on a whole new meaning and I am greatly enjoying learning to dance here. I am able to read books to my heart´s content and just sit to contemplate. Each day, I am filled with food (mmm Baleadas, my favorite dish, sorta a Honduran quesidilla that we have each Thursday breakfast), love from the kids, and the ability to be. My spanish is improving although I have had many impatient kids and funny misunderstandings in speaking. Asi es la vida (such is life)!!! May you continue also to enjoy fall (or winter as the temperature already may feel like) to its fullest and remember the creation around you as a gift to be contemplated and appreciated daily.

Psalters

Hey- Theres this awesome group that is so raw and real about spreading the love of God. Check them out: www.psalters.com

Pensando en mi familia y amigos

(left to right: Five year-old Fany running on the sidewalk, the place where I´m going to plant a vegetable garden (there´s a might bit of work to do!), my coworker and education director Lidia holding little Alan, Mera and I at a birthday party, the kids playing with balloons in a nearby swimming pool with a gringo group).


















































¨Its not who you are that holds you back, its who you think you´re not.¨-unknown.

Cosas que me sorprenden

Things that have surprized me:

-the ants that crawl on everything in seconds, and bite every spot on your feet that you never wanted anything to touch

-how quickly the rain will come in the afternoons and how the sun can shine at the same time

-how much access I have to the internet (nearly everyday)

-that I´m not sick of rice and beans and tortillas, just add a bit of hot sauce, though really salty here it helps me breathe a lot clearer (haha) and enjoy the spices in my food

-how easily memories of different friends and family come back to me

-how quickly the sun sets here, at about 6:00pm, its so dark cuz there are not many street lights

-that I started taking classical guitar lessons with my co-worker yesterday

-that I have a huge hunger for knowledge right now and am reading about 5 different books at the same time, including Harry Potter and the piedra filosofal (the first Harry Potter book in Spanish)

-that I haven´t lost the wonder in the trees, flowers, and different fruits that grow in this area, the colors are just magnicicent

-that I don´t miss chocolate (that much) but I did have some chocolate cake yesterday and it was pretty much a big deal

-the amount of resources we have at Montana de Luz rocks and yet the kids are really creative without these things and willing to give of their hearts and their lives each day

Mi primera semana en M.D.L.

(left to right from the top:
1. Michael, Simon (son of Darren and Julie, MCC Honduras Reps) and Rachel in La Campa where Michael works,
2. a woman making Lencan pottery in La Campa,
3. me standing by a papaya tree with gigantic papayas,
4. Montana de Luz view from the front gate
5. Junior a three year old at Montana de Luz,
6. Junior and me playing with the camera,
7. the 32 kids at the home breaking a pinata for a birthday,
8. 6 hammocks set up for the kids in the shade,
9. the laundry area,
10. my new best friend Gaby who attends a local university and volunteers at Montana de Luz).



































Today is a special day here in Nueva Esperanza because the kids are having a parade. They are celebrating Independence day, which is on Monday. Independence for Honduras was granted from Spain in 1821. To begin with, Honduras was originally inhabited by indigenous groups. The most powerful of these were the Mayans but the Lencas were also prevalent. (The picture of the woman making a pot is doing one of the most well known forms of Lencan art. This type of pottery continues to be popular especially in rural areas, such as La Campa near Gracias, Lempira.) From 1502 until 1821, the Spanish retained control of this country, naming it Honduras meaning ¨from the depths.¨The cities of Tegucigalpa and Comayagua were established because they were good mining centers.

However, in 1537, Chieftan Lempira (the money is called Lempiras, about 18 Lempiras per 1 American dollar) organized various indigenous groups to fight the Spaniards but were unsuccessful, resulting in a further establishment of Spanish rule. Finally, in a successful revolt against Spain began because of a resentment of Spanish taxes against the indigenous groups. In 1812, uprisings broke out in Tegucigalpa against Comayagua. In 1821 with four other Central American nations, Honduras declared its independence from Spain. It was part of the Central American Federation, which collapsed in 1838 when Honduras became officially independent.

Independence day here is celebrated by parades. Many of the youth here at M.D.L. (Montana de Luz) were dressed up in beautiful butterfly outfits or fancy marching uniforms. The kids often play the drums, trumpets, and the girls dance a specific dance. Its facinating to watch.

Things have been going pretty well for this first week. I have mostly been shadowing the education teacher here. She is originally from El Salvador and did Peace Corps in Guatemala and is now getting her masters in the U.S. in international development. She has lot of experience teaching abroad and I think I will learn a ton from her. Mostly, my job will be helping her teach the pre-kindergartners in the mornings and teaching physical education on my own in the afternoons. I am ready to get deeper relationships with the kids, especially the teenaged girls. They often get less attention and are at a crucial developmental stage. I hope also to start some type of dance therapy with them too.

Also, Rachel and I got a chance to accompany a gringo group that is volunteering at M.D.L. to a club soccer game in Tegucigalpa. It was Olimpia vs. Montagua. The club teams are different than the national soccer team. The Honduras national team just beat Canada and Jamaica but lost to Mexico. Now, those three national teams are coming to play in Honduras. Basically, everthing in the town stops when these games are on and you can hear the tvs from every house tuned into the same station. The club games are less of a big deal but many people came out to watch them. Olimpia had a huge cheering section, despite their loss that day 0-2 to Montagua.

I have gotten a chance to learn how to cook masa tortillas and bean soup. The fruits here continue to be rico
and my favorite is one called maricuya. It has these little seeds and is slimy but has an amazing tart but sweet taste. You just want more of it all the time! I bought three of those and three carrots because I just crave vegetables and fruits here.

My friend Gaby (in the picture above) has been so warm and welcoming. She is 21 and attends the University of Danli, which is nearby. She is studying civil engineering but volunteering here during the days. She is working to get my in-style, taking me this Sunday to cut mi fleckillo (my bangs) and get me to buy some popular kind of Honduran clear sandals that look like the ¨jellies¨I had when I was younger. I am excited to get to know her more. Her heart is so generous and she continues to give me bracelets and trade me clothing.

I have loved the kids so far. Most of them have challenging life situations. One girl this week had to go visit her mother because she went into a coma and it was a life-threatening situation. Another boy has intenstinal issues on top of having HIV. Sometimes he just lays in the shade saying ¨duele mi estamago.¨ (my stomache hurts). We just pick them up and hold them and continue playing, seeking the most joy possible in a day.

I definitely feel thankful to have a healthy body, an amazing loving family, and so many great friends and opportunities in my life. I have learned to be more satistifed with showers every 3 or 4 days, and not always knowing if the electricity will shut off. I have learned to find peace in the night sky and the gates that protect me, even though I feel a bit captive at times. I am learning what it is to be a woman here and what freedom of moment really means in a culture where not everything is always guarenteed, such as the safety of a path. Never the less, I had an amazing last week filled with plenting of challenges, but also accompanied by a God who was much bigger than it all.

Here is a prayer I wrote for the justice and love of the kids of M.D.L. :

In the midst of the mourning sun
my our voice resonate louder than distress,
as we speak to the desperation in this world,
may our hearts magnifcy love and justice,
and may it become our center, our solid rock.

seeking patience and goodness, let us weigh
the cost of misrepresenting love of a Father
desperate to hold each child in their condition:
AIDS-infected, heart-broken, or with skinned knees.



I realize a lot of this seems really serious but I have been laughing a lot here. The kids bring a lot of joy and silly jokes. There is especially one that loves to tickle a lot. Also, I just feel satisfied by owning less things and being able to enjoy the earth more. I have been able to call my parents a bit but I am definitely missing a lot of you all. Hope things are going well for you as you get started in more school or fall activities. And remember if you ever think things are getting too cold in your part of the world, just know I am sweating enough to make up for most of you!

Nueva Esperanza para la primera vez

I´m here in Nueva Esperanza. We arrived this evening (Sunday) around dinner time. We stayed with some friends from Goshen College from Goshen, Indiana (Ben and Joy Metcalf) this morning and afternoon to see where they were teaching in the capital, Tegucigalpa. It is neat to see some familiar faces in this area. They are teaching at a private Christian school located just up in the mountains of Teguc. It was interesting to see such an Americanized school in this area. Many kids of the Honduran elite and ambassadors attend this school. It was so different to see it after touring the MAMA project in the slums of San Pedro Sula. It seems to be more evidence of westernized culture, for both good and bad. The resources this school had were awesome and I´m sure they give these kids an amazing Christian education. Part of your heart just wishes they could reach so many more kids, especially the ones on the streets and working around the clock in local tiendas or kitchens. Que sera?
Afterwards, we drove about 45 minutes to Nueva Esperanza and walked around the Mountana de Luz grounds to meet a lot of the kids. The kids seem to be amazing, wanting to hug and be held. One kid in particular was named Hector and clung to Amanda, my SALT director here in Honduras. His face was covered in scabs and evidence from his infection of HIV-AIDS. His love was so much worn on his sleeve that it was impossible not to want to just play with him there in the dirt. There are for sure the tough ones that don´t want to look at strangers and are scared to give their hearts away to some new volunteer. It´s going to be great though getting to know these kids more and being able to be a more steady presence in their lives. I am also ready to work with younger kids and experience the different rewards and challenges that come along with that. I love how kids love! I love how they play and can become consumed with their task at hand, forgetting about the sorrows of life and the poverty surrounding them. It will be a great year of reorienting my sense of time and accomplishments. I know there will be plenty of things that I ¨want¨to achieve and I´m sure God has his own plans as well. I am working on reorienting my heart to his voice and understanding what his heart is for his people.
Here in Honduras it is easy so far for me to just become frusterated with systems. To begin with, the government is a corrupt system that does not provide adequate health care or social programs for starving people. There is so much hypocracy. Yet, in the midst of this ugliness I am working to remember that these are God´s children too. God is passionate about the government workers just as he is for me. Yes, they have made some mistakes just as I have. How can we reorient our minds to allow for this type of grace? How can we find hope in this struggle to redistribute resources based on a principle that isn´t capitalism, unitarianism, or economics that seem so logical?
I was reading about the Grameen bank started by Muhammed Yunus in Bangladesh. He set up a bank that the poor could own and take out their own microloans. This truly improved the conditions of many of the poorest of the poor in this country. Also, his banks spread to other countries. It seems that we spend all this time trying to solve poverty when really we need to give the tools and opportunities to those who we are really trying to affect. Every person has something to give and we often act like the poor do not. Yet, they have skills and various internal resources that must be tapped into. Check Yunus out. He started as an economics professor and has made an enormous change for his country. He´s an incredible guy.
I have been impressed so far with MCC Honduras and all the different organizations we are able to support. We just got done having our team meeting in La Campa, where Michael is for the year. We visited various agricultural projects put on by CASM, the Comite Accion Social Menonita. The group in this area were helping farmers stop cutting down trees by helping them plant cocoa trees and finding new alternative stoves to cook with. Also, they helped the workers there build more efficent pins for chickens and rabits. It was empowering to see the farmers show us their work and the pride with which they spoke about it. Within one community, one woman even spoke up and told about the women´s community gardens and other animal projects they had specifically been doing. While I know that not every project is this well organized, the community and sense of accomplishment with this group was phenomenal. I truly enjoyed visiting these areas and am anxious to see what projects Michael will see accomplished and what type of environmental educating he will do.
Let´s see, I´ve been running a little bit. Often it is hard to know if I am in a safe enough area. I really crave exercise but sometimes things just don´t happen like you desire. I´ve learned that Hondurans are crazy patient people. They are just always waiting for something. If they say a show or event will begin at 7 pm, usually that means around 8 or 830. I´ve just gotten used to wating for buses more and appreciating the environment around me. Also, I´ve gotten used to being dirty. At first it was a bit uncomfortable. Now, I feel like once I´m dirty I forget to notice it and I´ve even gone about 3 or 4 days without showering and not even noticed. Its actually kinda refreshing not to have to worry about showering or smelling good. Also, it makes me realize how concious we are about being clean in the U.S. We change clothes frequently and put on good smelling perfumes and cologne. It just feels natural to be here. I´m sure I will get tired of things smelling after a while and there really is nothing like the day after laundry day, especially when your laundry has dried in the sun.
Also, I am enjoying having less technology. I have an MCC-issued cell phone to call people in-country. It is nice not to have to worry about checking messages (cuz you all know how I would wait until I had 9 or 10 messages in the U.S.) and just take life as it comes. Man, let me tell you the frozen fruit pops or paletas are literally and figuratively ¨the bomb.¨ The flavors are so sweet and leche here just is different. I don´t know how to describe it but milk and cheese are just different. There are various types of cheese and I think I like this dry crumbly cheese the best. But watch out, because it will definitely sneak attack your stomache the next morning! Haha.
Well, for now that´s all. Tomorrow I get to sleep in and just get oriented to Montana de Luz and this new town, Nueva Esperanza. Andrew and Amanda and Rachel are leaving to take Rachel to her assignment with micro-loans in Teguc. I´m very much looking foward to being on my own and finally being emmersed in Spanish. Its been comforting speaking Spanglish with my fellow gringos but its time to jump into Honduras and the world of kids. I love working with kids because they are not humble about correcting you or laughing at your mistakes. This truly helps you learn because often adults are too polite to laugh at the ridiculous things you say. Learning Spanish has helped me understand the difficulty of being a foreigner and being frusterated at not expressing your thoughts always. Sometimes your head just begins to spin and nothing makes sense at all. That´s when you hit the sack and start the day anew. It also sheds new light on the experiences of immigrants and the truly tough life that this is. Well, more on that subject later because this will get far too long if we breach that subject.
May you each be blessed in your own piece of the world. May God shine his face upon you, as you reach out to those in your community and with a heart that has been set for the task before you. May you realize the true joy in giving of your material possessions and of your time, knowing the richness that life can offer you.

My choices

I choose love...no occasion justifies hatred: no injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love...this year I will lo9ve God and what God loves.
I choose joy...I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to by cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose peace...I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I choose patience...I will overlook the inconvenience of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I´ll invite her to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose kindness...I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone, kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And king to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness...I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I convict. I choose goodness.
I choose faithfulness...this year I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My family will not question my love and they will never fear that I will not come home.
I choose gentleness...nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it only be in praise. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I choose self-control...I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these we commit our year. If we succeed, we will give thanks. If we fail, we will seek grace. And then, when the year is done, we will place our heads on our pillows and rest.

-MCC sending prayer from the retreat in Akron, PA



This year, may you choose to see the good in yourself, even when you are struggling.

Information about MCC Honduras

Left to right: (me with a vibrant flower, another colorful flower, a trail to visit some Mayan Ruines, my little brother Antony with a traditional Campeseno hat, my host mom chopping coconuts with a machete)






















































So heres a bit more information about how MCC (Mennonite Central Committee) works in Honduras:

They most often partner with organizations or ministries that are already established and provide financial and volunteer support. For example, MCC Honduras partners with

>Servicio Cistiano Menonita (Mennonite Christian Service)- in the departamento of El Paraiso, administering various social and justice related programs
>Comision de Accion Social Menonita (Commission of Mennonite Social Action)- in San Pedro Sula, working for social change
>Proyecto Mama (Mama Project)- in San Pedro Sula, this is an amazing program that helps tutor kids with learning disabilities and provides extra after school help, they also assist women in health education, nutrition, family food production and small business development, emergency food assistance and home repair, we visited this project today and it was amazing to see all that was going on there!!!!
>Aldea Global (Global Village)- in Teguicigalpa, this helps with community development reducing HIV/AIDS, conserving forests, and works to fight domestic violence
>Ministerios Cristianso de Mayordomia (Christian Stewardship Ministries)- various programs
>CODESCO (Bretheren in Christ partner)- in the departmento Choluteca, helping conserve and find better ways to use water
>Montana de Luz (Mountain of Light)- in Nueva Esperanza, providing tutoring and developmental assistance to youth with HIV/AIDS, this is where I will be!
>ASJ-Associacion para una Sociedad mad Justa (Association for a more Just Society)- in Tegucigalpa, fighting for workers and human rights/ check out www.revistazo.com for more information

Other MCC Honduras Workers:

Darren Yoder and Julie Aeschliman, Simon and Lucia: Country Representatives living in San Pedro Sula
Andrew Clouse and Amanda Lind- MCC Salt coordinators/connecting peoples living in San Pedro Sula
Caleb Yoder- doing a 3 year MCC term, living in San Pedro Sula
Josh and Maria Eley-McClain- administrators of the Mama Project and Farm, living in El Cipres
Virgil and Kathy Troyer- MCC disaster team coordinators for Central America, living in Tegucigalpa
Marcos Flores- MCC office assistant, living in San Pedro Sula
Rachel Reed- Salter, working on micro-loans, living in Tegucigalpa
Michael Wiebe-Johnson- Salter, enrivonmental educator, living in La Campa in Gracias
Liz Goering- Salter, working at Montana de Luz with children who have HIV/AIDS, living in Nueva Esperanza

Some cities I will be referencing:

Copan Ruinas- a city in the south central region of the country where I had language school for 2 weeks, it has the ruins from the ancient Mayan civilization and is a fairly quaint touristy town
Nueva Esperanza- means New Hope in English, this is where the Montana de Luz is located and where I will be more days during the week working with kids
Tegucigalpa- the captial of Honduras, and about 45 min. away from Nueva Esperanza, its the largest city from where I will be living and the other Salter Rachel will be working with micro-loans there also
La Campa- means The Country in English, located in the departamento of Lempira, where the other Salter Michael will be working with environmental education
San Pedro Sula- a large city in the Northwest where the MCC Honduras offices are located as well as five of the other MCC workers live there




There is a lot of stuff going on here and its really neat how MCC works to partner with other organizations. There are around 105 Mennonite Churches in Honduras, 11 of which are in San Pedro Sula. This past Sunday we attended the ¨Mother Church¨which was the first Mennonite Church in Honduras. The music was awesome and the people were very passionate. We prayed for one taxi driver who is forced to pay a ¨war tax¨by various groups in San Pedro who are holding taxi drivers at gun point if they do not pay. This is a grave situation and every night after 7 or 8 pm this man´s life could be on the line. Please pray for him and other taxi drivers who face the danger and harassment of paying this sum to these groups. Also, pray for those that are harassing. They are impoverished and struggling to make it in a society that is not set up for many people to have jobs and survive. This is the root of the issue and needs to be addressed before the oppression can be stopped.



Another interesting thing I ran across in Copan Ruinas was a social service program for poor or street children in Copan called Arte Accion Copan Ruinas (Art Action Copan Ruinas). This program was started in May 1999, and seeks to use art, photography, videos, drama, and other media to reach children who are impoverished. Through art, the workers of this organization work to help children learn self confidence, and promote healthy social interactions with one´s environment, children´s rights, and the environment. This is a type of art therapy that children would otherwise not have access to. The youth have all kinds of art available for people to buy to support them. They also are in need of resources or volunteers. If you´re interested check them out: www.arteaccionhonduras.org or www.mayacopan.info