Tristeza

Yesterday, we had the memorial service for 10 year-old Melisa. It was such a sad thing, burrying a young girl only a decade old. She had AIDS but more so had severe depression and tuberculosis. She had been vommiting up her medicine for too long and her body became starved. On Saturday, we had visited her just 30 minutes after she died. It was sad seeing the minuscule resources they had. Her grandmother was the only relative who was there at her time of death. She had a messy history and the social workers did not even want her in the room with Melisa. It was quite the sad situation watching the grandma walk away from the hospital alone that day.
Death is so common for these kids. The kids drew her all kinds of pictures and wrote letters. I couldn't help thinking how we all tried to give her the world, spoiling her with candy and cute clothes, and in the end we even laid her to rest in a beautify gown. Death always seems to make people feel like they should have done more in life. I have heard so many comments from people about how they should have spent more quality time with her. It kinda puts it all in perspective.
For me, I think I was shocked and didn't really understand the sadness of this until I saw her in her coffin. The size of the coffin itself seemed to describe the life that was robbed from her. Many of the kids were just silent and so many more of them didn't understand. I have been praying since for her grandma and other surviving relatives as they put her body to rest today. Please also pray for her family as they seek to understand this death.

Also I am struggling with my coworkers here. They are just a frusterating group to be around and do not share many of my values. This fact makes me end up feeling exhausted because of negative jokes and uncomfortable comments. It is hard here because I don't really have any one else in my "social circle" except my host family, whom are amazing. I've really enjoyed the quality time I've spent with them. They seem to be a very close family with a light-hearted attitude. Please pray for my relationships with people here because that seems to be a struggle for me right now. I'm searching for some spiritual and emotional support here and coming up empty much of the time. I guess this is what it means to truly rely on God....